pradapoet's profile
AGE:
53
LOC: Hoboken, NJ
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: August 06
LOC: Hoboken, NJ
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: August 06
Roxanne Hoffman, a former Wall Street banker, now works nights answering a patient hotline for a major home health care provider based in New York City. A member of The Riverside Poets, her poetry appears in their annual chapbook as well in Nomad’s Choir, The Brownstone Poets 2007 Anthology, MÖBIUS The Poetry Magazine, Champagne Shivers, and online at Red River Review, Lucid Rhythms, Clockwise Cat and is forthcoming in Amaze: The Cinquain Journal, Asbestos, The Long Islander and the Green Pavilion anthology, Dinner With the Muse.
Her poetry can be heard during Rick Poli’s independent film, Love and the Vampire, shown at The Arlene’s Grocery Picture Show in 2005. It has been aired on cable (Poetry Thin Air, The Art House Show), UHF-T…
(more)
Reviews
I like the double meaning of "Christmas Mission". That you were on a mission of goodwill or intent on Christmas celebration going to the mission, with the "winds whipping" your "conscience". Great discription of the attendees at the Christmas celebration: One by one livers bulged / like bulky presents, / eyes discolored piss.//Faces sunk sunset amber. Not really clear that you are one of guests until the last stanza. You could be a volunteer helping out for psychic penance at the beginning. I...
As a quote I like it, not sure it's specifically descriptive of the creative life. Seems more generally applicable. Succinct and to the point. Good job!
4th stanza last line I suggest "I am gone" or "I'm gone" instead of "I am lost". That would echo "You are gone" of the second stanza. 5th stanza 2nd line: "I still remember" instead of "remembering" Maybe "But I can't do it without you." to close. I like the form, 3 line rhyme with a 4th line that doesn't rhyme and stops short. Almost a song. Very nice.
Before I read the poem I was thinking this was V for victory Day and would be something about a war. Then I realized you meant V for Valentine's day. A very nice interesting read. Good rhythm and tempo. It moves right along to the close. Good control of rhymes. I like they way they set up the beginning of the poem. I might rethink the word choice "attributes". "qualities" might be a better word choice. The narrator is victorious in the end.
I might rearrange the words as follows: sneak attack: ideas like flies suprise. I like the way "flies" suggests the way ideas can come and go if you don't write them down. Or come at some inopportune moment when you just need to swat them away.
[ View all reviews ]
Favorites
People
