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A fallen cherry from the tree, She never saved herself for me, Inside me aches a boiling rage, An animal forever caged. Through simple pleasure, And pain, I lie, And wait, until, The day I die. My selfish dream defeats me so, For suicide is made of snow, I wish the world would let me go, To drift in space so she will know... My heart is made of shattered glass.

Poetry - Overall

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No more tears for her again, I barely recall seeing them once, As soft as snow and as cold as ice, A love should never die twice, This was never meant to happen (the shame), Her soul, it now seems, is lost, Yet she is worth every ounce of the pain, For I love her – no matter the cost. A frozen tear fell down her face, Like the Last-ever droplet of rain, A moment of death and the stillness of life, Can sometimes seem they are the same, Time will never repeat itself, And we only have ourselves ...

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Poetry - Overall

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by WanderingVerse

I can relate to this statement because people often feel that they are "wandering through life" and watching it pass by, whilst not really LIVING. As artists we areobserving and making judgements on the world around us - describing and putting feeling into words regarding what we see. This a great memoir which will certainly appeal to the literary audience. Great job!

by afyare23

This is a very in-your-face poem with a strong point to make. I would split the line: "Sometimes I wish I hadn’t been used and raped behind my house’s cherry blossom tree" into 2 because it seems too long,; with Behind beginning the next line. This message has a strong message to convey about pain and coping and is blunt and to-the-point. I would also maybe change the line "Pride is a medicine sometimes" to Pride is just a medicine sometimes" and the next line to "Always remember to keep your...

by Unknown User

I like how it begins; quite poetic with nice colour-related imagery. It's good how you confuse the reader as to the setting and then reveal it in dialoguoe - a nice touch. It has quite a dark and sad ending, although I feel the paragraph "Even in the dim light..." could be simplified more so it sounds more interesting and doesn't drag on. But overall I like it, very nice.

by Unknown User

I like your narrative, it reads well but the tense gets mixed up at times: "I turn the door handle slowly and walk into the small room. In one half of the room was a wooden desk with a metallic table lamp on it." I would change this to "In one half of the room there is" and alter the rest of the piece to the present tense - I just think it is more readable that way. The ending is good though as it keeps the reader interested and wanting to read more. Keep it up.

by mikeyrook5

nice alliteration I like your style!

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