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prettyladykatt's profile
AGE:
21
LOC: Sacramento, CA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: November 11
LOC: Sacramento, CA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: November 11
I have been alive for 21 years, and for 14 of those years I have dreamed of becoming a published author. Hopefully Urbis will help contribute to my success.
Items
Version 1
7 Reviews
6 Comments
She sat near the back of the classroom, vaguely aware of what the teacher was lecturing about. Today her medium was ink. She quietly stared at the red head sitting a few desks away, sketching the way the light hit her curls and how she nervously bit her finger nails while the teacher probed unprepared students for answers. “Audra, can you hear me?” Caught in the act, Audra blushed slightly as the red head met her gaze. “Can you please explain why the Confederates thought th...
Version 1
13 Reviews
1 Comment
Chapter One Sitting at the edge of a small rickety chair, I still held my paper and pen in my hand. I looked over his sleeping body, watching his eyes flutter as he snored quietly; unaware of my movement around his apartment. Seeing you so clearly/ the rise and fall of your chest/ eyelids fluttering as you dream. I wanted to fall asleep. I wanted to stay in his arms, snuggled close to his body. Instead, I simply kissed him lightly on the cheek. I breathe you in/ savoring your smell. I folded ...
Version 1
32 Reviews
2 Comments
Chapter One The light casts shadows dancing gently on your sleeping body matching breath for breath I want to keep this moment remember it cherish it keep it something so simple and still something so special slowly the sun illuminates the room seeing you so clearly the rise and fall of your chest eyelids fluttering as you dream I run my fingers across your arm pulling me closer I breathe you in savoring your smell sleeping so soundly unaware of the world awakening around you closing my eyes ...
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Reviews
"He handed the MC his song selections and awaited his turn, throned alone in a booth far from the stage." I really like the image of a king on a throne by himself. Sort of set apart from everyone else at the karaoke bar. I also like how he is singing as Elvis, also known as the "King" and the play on that is amazing. I love Elvis's "lisp". Every time he speaks I can hear it perfectly in my head. It's a very realistic lisp and not overdone like most stories with lisping characters saying "thit...
"Mrs Wilson was an old woman who had seen much in life but she had learnt to be deaf in her old age" The word "learnt" should be spelled "learned". "In other circumstances he might have entertained the notion . . . no none of that." This sentence read a little bit confusing at first, I think there should be a comma after no: "no, none of that." That way the reader knows right away that Daniel is disagreeing with himself, and it reads more smoothly. "Daniel forked the egg into his mouth. Just ...
I am confused as to whether or not Adri is a real person or just a voice inside the main character's head. " 'Remember that time a while back, when I tried to see what it would be like without your voice in my head?' " Is this line supposed to show that Adri acts as the main character's conscious, like a voice in her head only when she is not around to say things in reality? Or is this to show that the main character is dealing with her parent's emotional abuse by creating a loving person ins...
100.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
I am not quite sure if these are aliens attacking this poor woman, or if it is men who are meant to look strange, like something from "The Hills Have Eyes". The only thing that leads me to think aliens is the sentence "Walking towards the blinding light, they board the ship and take her with them." But then again, that could be a metaphor for a truck with it's brights on and they are just heading home to their dark cave in the middle of a radiation zone of some sort. I am not really sure. Oth...
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