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pro_fun_di_ty's profile
AGE:
34
LOC: Omaha, NE
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 13
LOC: Omaha, NE
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 13
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Version 1
10 Reviews
2 Comments
Things are never easy Life is a complicated game The rules are a little hazy And the results are never the same. You played the hand you were dealt, with kindness, tenderness and grace. No matter what the circumstance A smile was on your face Whatever work you could find You always did your best. Only taking time for those you loved And never for your own rest Striving to get by And helping those around Putting everyone before you With not a complaint to be found You traveled lightly through ...
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Charlene eyes kept drifting towards the clock over Mrs. Turners head. (Charlene's) She prayed she be able to make it through the rest of the class period without having to face him. She prayed she would be able to make it through the rest... Just a couple minor errors that I could see. The story flowed very well. The characters are believable as are the situations. I could honestly see this published. I applaud your bravery for the touchy subject matter and would definitely like to read the p...
Very well structured. Without reading the first chapters I'm not entirely clear on the theme or genre of the story. However the characters have peaked my interest. The piece is visually stimulating and you have pretty much nailed down the ability to describe a scene without over doing it, as such the following... "She entered Tito’s garden by the lake door and stopped to pick a sprig of bougainvillea, masses of its pink and orange blossoms covered the trellis that ran from the back gate to th...
A sad touching story. It's particularly sad to me as I have seen this happen several times as alzheimer's runs in my family. Everything ran together smoothly, there were a few running sentences but nothing that I found too terribly problematic. Lovely lovely work.
I liked the fact that you explained it to "joe reader" who might not get the imagery and scene changes, even though I got it and didn't read the intro until after. Speaking of imagery, wow. The images generated by this are powerful and surreal. I especially liked: "The Black Velvet Box shuts with a snap. The Girl’s breath burns and spiders crawl across her skin as The Bear threads his claws through her hair." The spiders, the Bear... just creepy. Whether intended to be or not the poem was eer...
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