pyxxel's profile

pyxxel avatar
AGE: 47
LOC: Ireland
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: November 26

Old enough to know better, young enough to do it anyway.

I’ve always enjoyed writing, but never thought about putting it out for the general public. Well, now is the time!

Although a native German, I’ve lived in Ireland for 15 years and write in English. I will write in German too as soon as I find an equivalent site in German! My English is OK but don’t expect meticulously crafted, eloquent wording.

I thrive on good dialog in literature and want to achieve a balance of humour and serious content.

Item Stats
Reviewer Stats
Items
Version 1
11 Reviews   2 Comments
Unwritten poem Unspeak these words Unwrite these letters Unshare my thoughts of unspeakable truths Retracing my steps, walking back down the line Revisit the moment to turn back the time Regret not the action but for the reaction Regret the effects that unfold Regret this my shortlived self-satisfaction Regret what should never be told Uncurse me with mildness Unsadden my day Unshock me so gently Unlead me astray Untell me the harshness Untear me apart Unmisunderstand me Unhurt me my heart
Ratings & Rankings
Short Story / Time is not important
Version 1
16 Reviews   4 Comments
"Now you really ARE for the birds." She shook her head from side to side so her brown ponytail whipped her neck. Sinead had never heard such a big load of bull in all her life. Torn between being intrigued by, and slightly angry at this odd fellow with his fantastic stories, she mustered his eyes closely. This bar was, as any Dublin pub, too dim to make out enough. Just a LITTLE too dim, just that tiny little bit. And yet, for a split second she thought seeing that glint again, and it got her...
Ratings & Rankings
Short Story / Awakening
Version 1
15 Reviews   2 Comments
What time is it, I thought. Then it occured to me it didn't matter... it was Saturday. Squinting my eyes at the sunlight breaking through the flimsy curtains, I turned my head over to look at her. Still fast asleep, I thought. How cute she was, with her straw-blonde hair falling down by the sides of her face... Very carefully, I climbed out of bed, over and around her. This room was too damn small for the two of us... or else I had too much of my clutter in it. She moved a bit, I stalled... t...
Ratings & Rankings
Reviews
Locked
Not bad, it touches a sore spot everybody has felt at some point - not to step in and help, but to ignore and turn the other way. However, you should try to capture more emotion and use less questions. The last 4 lines are completely fine, it's justified there because you express your main thought clearly, but te previous lines need some tidying up: What is it to be helpless? The fact is that we are NOT helpless, but are confronted with a choice. You could leave this more open, particularly a...
Nice, but it feels unfinished to me. It ends in a way that makes me long for a conclusion or some hint as to where this might lead to. Also, you could have created a little more suspense - the gust of wind isn't enough and leads the reader to believe that there is something supernatural going on, while you have a completely different goal. I'm not saying you should never lead your readers onto the wrong tracks, but this detail was rather inconsequential to me. It had no influence on the rest ...
First off, I do like your choice of words, even though their combination confuses me. I love the tone of it all, I like the open-endedness and how you create mystery in such a small frame. However, I would love to see you break the boundaries of the 200 words of the assignment and express a little more what thoughts lie behind it all. It si certainly intriguing, but I'm sort of teased a lot without any resolution or satisfaction.
Maybe I'm not very receptive today, but I just don't really get it... what is this about? However, I liked your choice of words, it is all flowing nicely, even though I don't understand its meaning!!
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ITEMS (2)

 

Short Story / Faith (Final)

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