qwesto's profile
AGE:
27
LOC: Saint Louis, MO
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: July 25
LOC: Saint Louis, MO
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: July 25
My name is John and I’m an English Major at the University of Missouri-St. Louis. I’m a Senior, and, ironically enough, I have only to finish 2 more classes of Spanish to get my English degree.
I’ve been writing for as long as I can remember, and absolutely love it. In fact, I’m obsessed with it. Everything I do, every situation I’m in, I constantly see plot or character possibilities. (I’m a freak, I know.)
I am a little bit of a clown, and a lot of bit of a dork, so my works tend to have at least some humor in them. I love to make people laugh. I do have a morbid sense of humor, at times, though, so beware. Other than that, I hope you enjoy!
Items
Version 1
13 Reviews
12 Comments
In the springtime of his madness, which is late autumn of the year to you and I, the wayfarer Wally, haunt of Hampton Avenue, began his daily trek across the time-worn paths of the planet earth. Always he glided along the bustling avenue, little more than a specter in blue jeans, his head down and oblivious to the proof of life thrumming all about him. He was of that class needing constant reminders that they were alive, that existence was composed of more than a sequence of repeating images...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
17 Reviews
8 Comments
She turned to look back over her shoulder, and the world stopped. A slight breeze skipped amongst her black locks, flaring them behind her just enough to grab hold of the golden fingers of the afternoon sunlight and reflect them back brilliantly. The deep crimson of Chanel No. 5 shone from her lips as they quivered hesitantly for a moment before climbing up her face in the initial intimations of a smile. Surrounding her was an aura of white magnificence, owing its genesis to the light reflec...
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Reviews
This is very imaginative. It's obvious you are very familiar with the creatures you've created, and most of them have routines and quirks which make them believable and multi dimensional. Village life is very convincing, and you do a good job of holding a reader's interest. Of course you should continue to write it! Do the parents that signed these permission slips know that they're children are going with a fairy to spend the summer in an enchanted village, though? It seems a little strange ...
Dream sequence-due to its surrealist nature, consider cutting the (overly grounding) reference to May. "The thump of the morning paper hitting the front step awakens Jack Rotto" this line might be better as the opener for the next paragraph. Otherwise, nicely revised. And I really like the tie in throughout the story, nice. You've managed to take an already well done characterization and imrove on it. Good job. You've shown not just the angst of Jack Rotto, but also the intense alienation he ...
I really like your style. It's gritty and yet detailed, very real. You capture the angst of suburbia just as you said. The character of Rotto is very well drawn, very believable. I'm 25 years old, but for a moment, I could relate to him. I felt what he felt. The story itself is well done. Bravo! I do have some problems with some of it, though. For example: The dream sequence at the beginning? I'm not entirely sure what you were going for with that, but unless you can tie it in somewhere later...
If you keep this as an over-the-top, ridiculous adventure, it'll work. Your quips are very clever. You must have them as frequesntly as they are now. (Well, I guess must is a little strong, but they were what made this for me.) I love the connotation with Oxford, even if you didn't mean it. (Oxford-prestige, dictionaries, literary tradition. Not so much here, apparently.) You could really parody shows like the Walton's or, even more contemporary, all those little OC, 7th Heaven shows of you m...
100.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
James Joyce, anyone? You do stream of consciousness well, especially for the character you set up. However, this is at least two stories. It really loses its focus witht the introduction (abrupt as it is) of the man's thinking. It's good that you bring it all back around at the end, but it takes too long to do it. Without referencing any of the initial ideas you open with, the entire plot breaks down, and a reader becomes hopelessly lost. (Too bad the phrase "alive or just breathing?" is take...
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