r_chama's profile

r_chama avatar
AGE: 18
LOC: Santa Clarita, CA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: June 25

I am a teenage girl who writes like a madwoman but rarely gets draft one finished of any particular story.  I also like to draw.  Currently I’m into reading Arthurian legend.  Genres I enjoy are teen drama, sci-fi, fantasy, and I own more comic books than anything else.

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Items
Version 2
3 Reviews   0 Comments
1. The steady beeping of the heart monitor is the first thing he hears when he wakes and the only thing existing for far too long. His eyelids are too heavy to open and he cannot feel a thing. The distinct smell of latex gloves and hospital make its way past the plastic tube in his nostrils, turning his stomach inside out. He never has liked hospitals, not since he was young and spending more time in a sick bed than his own. He has no idea why he’s here now, too drugged to even lift a finge...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
3 Reviews   0 Comments
1. The steady beeping of the heart monitor is the first thing he hears when he wakes and the only thing existing for far too long. His eyelids are too heavy to open and he cannot feel a thing. The distinct smell of latex gloves and hospital make its way past the plastic tube in his nostrils, turning his stomach inside out. He never has liked hospitals, not since he was young and spending more time in a sick bed than his own. He has no idea why he’s here now, too drugged to even lift a finger....
Ratings & Rankings
Young Adult / Post-Crisis
Version 4
3 Reviews   1 Comment
1. The machines beep incessantly. It's the first thing he's aware of when he wakes, and the only thing existing for far too long. His eyelids are too heavy to open, and he can't feel a thing. He hates the hospital. He can't remember why, he's too sluggish to even think, but there is something about the distinct smell invading his nose that turns his stomach inside out. He slowly comes to awareness of a hand that clutches his own, fingers searing into his palm as their owner breathes loudly be...
Ratings & Rankings
Young Adult / Post-Crisis
Version 1
12 Reviews   9 Comments
The IV drips so loud you can hear it when you wake.  Your eyelids are too heavy to open, and you can't feel a thing.  It takes a few moments for you to realize where you are.You're helped along by the voice of a man (or a boy, his voice is so insecure) asking repeatedly, "How is he doing, Doctor?  When will he wake up?"  Your eyes flutter weakly, and can only see the blurry impression of the boy (or a man, he's almost tall enough) and a person in a white coat, the doctor.&...
Ratings & Rankings
Short Story / Perfect
Version 3
2 Reviews   1 Comment
I make room for Joan beside me when she asks. She speaks with a low voice and a hint of Asian accenting, always complaining that she sounds like a man. I think she sounds just fine. “What’s up?” she asks, sitting near me so that our arms barely graze and I could grasp her hand if I moved mine an inch or two. I grasp the grass instead. “Nothing really,” I sigh, leaning in towards her. We have a reputation for being attached at the waist, and it's embarrassing just how much I like that. I stay ...
Ratings & Rankings
 Plus-button Clarity
Reviews
Short Story / Memoirs of a Fat Man
This is a cute vignette. It made me smile. One suggestion though; when he describes the slide, the word "you" should be avoided. The "you" could be changed to be his friends, or something. But the story is nice.
This is a unique piece, and I like it immensely. The homophonic reference in the title to Cain and Abel is clever, and I like the style with no capitals or quotes for the narrator. I like the emotional friction built between all the characters. Good luck.
Journal, Diary, & Blogging / Rebirth: Ode to Suicide.
Locked
Short Story / Gone, Gone
Locked
Sci Fi & Fantasy / That Which Is
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ITEMS (2)

 

Short Story / perfect
Haiku/Senryu / Turn Of Events

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