ramsrock37's profile

ramsrock37 avatar
AGE: 39
LOC: Woods Cross, UT
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: August 25

I’m a married mother of three. I enjoy writing, reading and spending time with friends and family.

Item Stats
Reviewer Stats
Items
Novel Treatments / Sleeping Roses
Version 1
4 Reviews   3 Comments
"My mom's going to kill me, I've got to hurry," she said to Mrs. Archibald as she grabbed her bag and left. "Bye," she hollered. "Bye! Don't forget what we've talked about. I need a decision by tomorrow." Mrs. Archibald called after her. Great, she thought, rushing toward the exit. At the door, she held it open for an old, blind woman. The woman was wearing a plastic rain hat and was hunched over, walking with a cane. Once through, the old woman reached out and touched her face. "Thank you . ...
Ratings & Rankings
Novel Treatments / Roses
Version 1
2 Reviews   2 Comments
"Sophie, darling, take a deep breath, wipe the tears off your face and tell me what's happened," Rina purred in a kind, firm voice. She woodenly obeyed, picking up her napkin, wiping her face and discreetly blowing her nose. "I'm not sure I want to tell you." Although she was doing what Rina had asked, the tears wouldn't stop coming. She knew Rina must be disappointed in her weakness. A little disgusted with herself, she again looked over at Rina, before dejectedly resting her gaze on her sal...
Ratings & Rankings
Novel Treatments / Sleeping Roses
Version 1
16 Reviews   6 Comments
I've never seen it rain this much before she marveled, shivering nervously. Ducking under her black umbrella, she quickly left the old, red brick building, meandering her feet to avoid the puddles. Reaching her black BMW, she rapidly got in, heading out of the parking lot. As she turned right onto Bangerter Highway, her car hydroplaned. "Shit," she cursed, determinedly gaining control. Seven o'clock already, she thought, glancing at the clock on her car dash. I've got to hurry. Vowing to be c...
Ratings & Rankings
Young Adult / Georgianna
Version 6
3 Reviews   2 Comments
Prologue "What should we do?" George Archibald whispered, concern evident on his face. He was sitting on his daughters bed, which was covered by a My Little Pony comforter. Next to him, sat his wife, her brow furrowed in obvious concentration as she inwardly contemplated what was to be done. George couldn't help but admire her beauty. Long brown hair, sleeked back at the moment in a high, tight ponytail, shimmering by the small glow of her daughters pony night light. Although he couldn't see ...
Ratings & Rankings
Young Adult / Georgianna
Version 5
1 Review   0 Comments
Prologue "What should we do?" George Archibald whispered, concerned. He was sitting on his daughters bed, which was covered by a My Little Pony comforter. Next to him, sat his wife, her brow furrowed in obvious concentration as she inwardly contemplated what was to be done. George couldn't help but admire her beauty. Long brown hair, sleeked back in a high, tight ponytail, shimmering by the small glow of her daughters night light. Although he couldn't see them at the moment, he knew her honey...
Ratings & Rankings
Reviews
Screenplay / Downsizing
Great idea. It's funny the rolling of the dice and putting "their cards" on the table. It felt like it needed more action - maybe more agitation from the men.
Non-fiction / The Miscarriage
Very compelling. The whole time I was reading I hoped he'd come through. Being married myself I could totally relate to the thinking that he should just know, although it's untrue. Your writing flows nicely and was easy to follow. I was carried forward and wanted to keep reading. There are three words which need to be corrected/changed but everything else felt great. You also may want to consider giving some details of what these people look like.
Removed
While I know what Andrea looks like as well as Elaine, I have no idea what the narrator (Mickey) looks like. I was inclined to believe she was a woman, even when you were discussing the "new flame". Even the name Mickey could allow me to believe it's a man or woman. Since reading is supposed to involve your imagination, it bothered me to be trying to guess. The story itself would be one fun to read in a catering magazine and I think you have plenty of caterer lingo but I would like to know mo...
Poetry / Missing You
I've said this before and feel it's important to say again that I have no formal training. I enjoy reading poetry because it can take you on a journey. That being said, I think your poem is heartfelt and raw. As you say in your poem, "I wish someone would understand the void inside that I have." While I haven't experienced your exact pain (no one can), I have lost someone close to me before it was time and there is a void. I think you placed your feelings very well onto the page and appreciat...
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