Chapter Twenty Three The Sea, Like Lead They liked to play with time like putty, seeping it between their fingers and squeezing and pulling it across their bodies. Sometimes she painted fingertips on his chest, hiding his lack of wisdom by covering it with their own version of time, one that leaked through the tiny cracks in his skin and paid no attention to things like logic or reason. “And what of me, will I have died of starvation and neglect before you realize you’ve forgotten me behind? ...

You're a stranger here don't you know you always wanted to believe the world was strong too but it turns out everything you may have feared is more than fact or fiction it's the heartbeat of a sunken land, a mercy fuck of human filth who sits quietly and waits for him you're a stranger here don't you know that sound downstairs of fake laughter and beer is only sick enough to shut the door not runaway not slice the noise you may have given up on people but that wind you sing never whispers bac...

And I’ll keep the wind trapped in your sails, Rescind the water from our toes and all the ocean has to give. But leave me, leave me with these tales. Fly your sunken ship from me oh relieve me of your trails, Leave me with your story books of lives we’ll never live, And I’ll keep the wind trapped in your sails. Far from home, crooning elephant guns on your rusty, crooked nails. Time for us to watch this sea by hands of falling whales, and I’ll hymn, “Just leave me, leave me with your tales. “...

Over and over again. How many mind-numbing questions can one person fucking ask? Does it matter what I’m doing or where Youssef is or where she is or what she’s doing or why I’m here or there? NO, IT DOES NOT. I want to be left alone. I don’t want to talk to anyone, I don’t want to hear their voices or anything. I just want to grab something incredibly heavy and smash it through a window. And when I smash it I want the glass all over everyone and I want everyone to bleed and cry and go away....

On a Neck on a Spit I could jump off cliffs and fly from planes and see the world from the other side of the universe. I jump out of the Earth and fly down streets to capture a gentle whiff of freedom, but I could never do it on my own. I found him hiding in the back and he’ll tell you that it was he who’d found me hiding, crouching low behind broken book shelves, but I found him all alone and took him with me. I’d wandered into a place I’d never seen, and timidly avoided the eyes of others w...

I bet you feel like you're lying to me all the time. I bet you never really meant for any of it and it just rolls itself into a never ending monster of shitty feelings. It sucks doesn't it. I thought that the whole time, I just ran into an impossibly difficult race that I can never win, and I know it. You came and left a cold front core upon the mess I'm in. You looked down and said, "Now the greatest days and the talking town speaks voices and games I've never seen, I've seen your bravery an...

Why don’t you twirl this around your fingers for a day, take it up in them and spin it round and round. Talk about a never ending flow of motion It reeks your rusty sound Tell me how it felt to touch brilliance Did it tingle as it wept? Was it lighter than a thousand bones And pulsate as it slept? Were there villages of loners hiding it’s wake, Did you see their bending brows Proposed and almost married Waiting on their vows I, say you Will drop it to my toes Sing to it my final song And watc...

Hey hey don’t mind me if I crouch beneath your tattered wool and spoons of past summer days and desperate summer nights and early mornings I begged you not to go but you always gave me kisses right before hours and hours away would do us no good because we were smashed and covered by the walls of all the continents on the planet flicked back every time we made a run for the next time I see you I’ll know just what to say I say it over and over in my mind waiting for the day oh please don’t min...

Dear God, You know, when I was young this sort of thing would follow me around all night. I ran up and down the stairs in something less than fear and more than calm. I used to have a million different thoughts all at once. They'd flash themselves briefly then disappear into the back of my mind until I would eventually have to worry about them once again. It was a continuous act of capitalism in my head. I could never settle down. And fuck, I heard him say it a million times before but it nev...