I like this piece. The clarity is pretty good. The imagery could use a little work, maybe more descriptive words or make it longer and talk more about the who and why of the person that you have the other piece that fits like a key. That is a great line by the way. Donna

Haunting...the calrity, imagery, and flow are all superb...wait, I have green eyes... Donna

I read it fast and out loud and I still, frankly dont get it. So, with that said the clarity definitely needs work. I know you indicated it is up for interpretation but you should not give that much interpretation to the reader. You still want to control the direction of the poem. The flow, however works quite well. I would work on the imagery as well to increase the clarity. My suggestion would be either to increase the length and/or add more descriptive thoughts...not words..thoughts. Hope ...

Work on the flow and the clarity. Obviously, this is about MJ and the way you perceived his life to be. Dangerous territory when writing about something you know nothing for sure of. Donna

The clarity, imagery, and flow all work well. Yet, the ending disconnected me. Perhaps, try wording the last four lines in a way that bring the rest to a cumulative point rather than fading out, such as: Through my eyes I’ve seen it all change to: Through my eyes, all this I've seen And still I wonder what lies ahead change to: Yet, what lies ahead I can not know Many more sightings to behold change to: Much more to behold, until I am weaned Upon this lifelong path I tread change to: Forward,...

Pretty good flow and clarity. However, it could be better with more imagery that would also make the clarity better. Either make it longer or add more description. You left me hanging, wanting to know what exactly the reason was for several things, i.e. what did they do initially to hurt you, how did you end up there again, did they really hurt you on purpose? I like the concept though. Dona

I am sorry I just do not get all of this..I understand that this person lives in a perhaps delusional state that they have created for themselve and which(I guess) works perfectly well for them and that you (the writer) has total disdain for this person?!? The clarity, imagery, and flow all fell a little short for me. I would suggest using different descriptive words, but then again maybe its just me. Donna

It is good but what genre are you thinking of doing this in? You might want to include that in "the notes for reviewer" Donna

I really enjoyed this, though it left me with a sense of unfullfillment. I kept expecting ti find out for sure who or what "I am the one...." actually is. There is much inference as to what or whom this may be but I wnated to know if I was on the right track so you mught think about adding or revising to include this. The imagery and flow are good but the clarity needs to be tighter. Thanks for sharing! Donna

the claroty is not clear to me and the flow could be better. The imagery is really good so I guess the challenge then is to use the imagery to improve on the clarity. Maybe add a couple more lines or maybe I am just ignorant and this is a fantastic piece as is and the clarity is splendid..I have been off lately so I apologize if this is the case.