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AGE: 23
LOC: Bridgewater, MA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: November 18

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Lyrics / See You Around
Version 2
4 Reviews   0 Comments
Do the words I say mean anything at all? When the best of men are forced to crawl Through the alleyways of nightmare past Where love disintegrates but hate lasts I'm taking a trip through the universal mind I'll see you around some other time Its hard to walk with the sidewalks blocked Following a lifelong line of razor thin chalk As I wait for your memory to fade To just an empty rail on cloudy day My mind fogged from this mad dog wine Maybe I'll see you around some other time Cast your spel...
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Quotes / 6 Words
Version 1
26 Reviews   1 Comment
A Constant War, Waged Against Mediocrity
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Opportunities
Version 1
4 Reviews   0 Comments
I need a girl with unremarkable vision. Through the blurred steamed mirror Of the post shower bathroom The smeared subway window's reflection Or the blackness of a television screen I acquire those classic good looks. The flaws upon my face erase. The imprefections in my hair fade Into the shell of my original intent. Astigmatism fills the gaps in my teeth And My jaw squares up. The muscles in my arms remain, Outshining any excess on my stomache and neck. How unfortunate To be placed in this ...
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Version 1
4 Reviews   0 Comments
The road, finally forking Revealing all to be clear All things, once given They are not welcome here. For now I’m endowed with brand new sight Seduced by the left, but headed right. These wings, hard earned, Now I am taking flight For even the darkest says Have their nights. When taken from The highest shelf Love’s high will cause you, To lie to oneself. Though confessions under a dying light Where true colors always show bright All I needed wrong, Proved right. But even the darkest days, Hav...
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Version 1
12 Reviews   12 Comments
ONLY AS A CONCEPT The more you get to know me The less affection, You will be able to muster. I lie to the faces Of those closest to me. I maintain a healthy, Conservative diet Then drink myself into oblivion. I crave faith, Something to believe in But have nothing, And have no one. I have been battered into bitterness And harvest disgust, At others’ happiness. I see the worst in people Their pretense sickens me. I pull masks off and see The bone underneath, Crumble upon the weight. If for on...
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Reviews
Poetry / Samhain Poem
I really enjoyed this. Mainly because it has everything a traditional poem should. There is so much snobbery today about poems that rhyme or poems that are written in these classical styles, but I find it refreshing when I read one like this, that is done well, because it proves wrong that theory that it cant. The only thing I would say is that maybe in the second verse you could tighten up some of the syllables for the sake of the rythm, it seems like your reaching a bit with some of the rhy...
50.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
Lyrics / Fly (clean)
You've got a lot of emotions here. I'd like to see you steer away from typical played rhyme in the end of verse two. I think this needs some work on the structure, I'm not really getting a lyrical feel from this. There are some glimmers of hope though in the second, and third chorus'. What you need to do is just kind of play with this, cut down on the quantity and just king of expand on the words themselves, shoot for something a little more original. But theres a lot of emotion here and with...
I think you've got some very interesting verses here and some of them have sort of a tao kinda vibe with the rhyme scheme and such. However i think this is a classic case of rhyming hurting the piece. Certain parts seem a little forced and awkward, such as... The sun will peer through his broken pane with a bright beam The pane begins to shatter like shards of glass His iris becomes glossy like a diamond of the highest class I think you've got the base to something that may have potential. Wh...
Poetry / Untitled
This is great stuff, you get a great feel of the author's mind set, the bacon sizzling on god's skillet, very nice. I would maybe suggest a verse about the situation he's in, maybe how or why he's there, however I'm not sure if it doesnt work better ambiguous like it is, leaves a little to the imagination. Either way this is good stuff, well done.
the other ones were great and very funny, this one just comes off a little bitter.
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