samfreely's profile

samfreely avatar
AGE: 28
LOC: Reseda, CA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: July 17

I’m here to get better as a writer.
Somewhere along the line, make friends.
Have a few a drinks and just let the mind wander for days on end.
Sometimes it returns.
More often than not, it never does.

Item Stats
Reviewer Stats
Items
Version 1
5 Reviews   4 Comments
There's a stranger sitting in my usual stool at the Lion's Head. I haven't seen him before, but I recognize the shirt he wears: a red t-shirt with an imprinted orange life vest on it and a monogram bearing the word 'Alvarez'. I order another San Mig. Having been claimed by this delectable elixir, I find it difficult to order anything but. "I've seen those shirts everywhere. What's it mean?" He munches on a handful of oriental crackers and nurses a draught Heineken. "Our whole family came. So ...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
4 Reviews   1 Comment
White light spills through the portholes on the heavy steel double doors, casting two perfect circles on the floor before us. Danny had to smuggle me down there, five decks below the Lion's Head, taking me through dark halls and steep stairwells. "Too many cameras", he had said gesturing to the little red lights in the darkness as we pass two in a darkened corridor. Danny new these paths well, having spent eighteen years on the same ship you get know all its nooks and crannies. He knew every ...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
4 Reviews   0 Comments
Back on the ship after a solo ride on the tender and a quick shower in the stall that has knobs and levers and buttons that are impossible to figure out, turn this way to get hot water but only a split second, I head down to my favorite pub and open my daily tab with a San Mig. Damn this beer is fucking addicting. Friends of Bill W might be getting a new member today. The gears start grinding in this twisted brain, a light bulb flashes its brilliance over head. Idea! I have got to find my bro...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
4 Reviews   3 Comments
It's been a long day, but at least the Lion's Head is always here for me. "You seal the deal yet, Ricky?" I ask, taking my stool at the bend in the bar. Danny smiles whimsically as we both wait for Ricky's answer. "I take it that's a no then?" "Yup. I told you she was a tease." He shakes his head then cracks a forced smile. "San Mig me Danny. So, who is she? Is she a crew member?" "Yeah. Her name is Ana. Tiny little thing." "Where does she work. May be I've seen her." "I doubt it. She's part ...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
5 Reviews   0 Comments
Singled out against the backdrop of Plexiglas and a pristine oceanic sunset, I made my way across the deck with a slight natural sway and White Russian in hand. The night was young, the trip even younger. Had I known what I was setting sail for, I could have prepared better for the excursion. For now, though, the simple mixer would have to suffice. The deck was empty for the most part, the majority of the pleasure seekers having opted for dinner as the sun continued to fall further beneath th...
Ratings & Rankings
Reviews
Short Story / Cracked the Sky
Well, you certainly succeed in 'Mind-fucking the reader'. Not bad, it's like a darker version of the Short Timers. My only real criticism with this piece is the lack of names through out. Even for it being twisted and cerebally displaying his insanity, it is really hard to follow in parts like: "I looked to my right and the man who was with me was looking straight at me too." in the context you used it in I had to re-read the sentence twice over to make sure I knew who 'the man' was. It's pre...
Short Story / Evangeline
"“Well, Yancey Cates, you must be southern to have a mouth full of a name like that. You gonna ask me out, or just stand there grinning?”"- If this takes place in let's say the last twenty years, I don't think she would have asked that question. Kind of felt like it was unecessary, you already have him bumbling and flirting with her, which she adeqautely reciprocates. "What is a hounfor you might ask? It is the place where the Loas are worshiped, it’s the center of the universe and all around...
Short Story / Hero
Interesting. Well written. I only noticed one typo-(“Thank you.” Jeremy stood up removing the microphone clip from his suit shirt.”) You don't need that last quotemark. I'm just confused about Sam? And who did Jeremy want to kill and why? It's like this an excerpt from a larger piece. So it's quite confusing. I liked it; it left me with a "hmm." feeling. Could be developed further if your interested in doing so. Best of luck.
Pretty good read. I enjoyed it. Had me laughing most of the time. Especially with Maggie's inner-sarcastic voice. So yeah, kudos! Below are just my comments on two parts that really stood out for me. "the world’s worst comb-over imaginable"- I thought Donald Trump had those honors, lol... "threshold"- you can't step through something that's on the floor. A threshold is that strip of paneling underneath a door. It would be "stepping OVER the golden threshold..."
Short Story / wierd fishes
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