Your dialogue is executed brilliantly and the transition between characters and scenes are smooth, and well versed. It has the feel of sin city to it, and your character Courtney intrigues me with his religious sensibility, and yet still trapped in his old habits. I like where it is leading and I will be interesting to see how you manage to tie all this up together in the end. But each scene is able to stand on its own and yet neatly intertwined with the other stories. Gavion E. Chandler.

I like how you break the forth wall, and your narrative speech is well developed, but there should be a point of transition, that helps break up the scenes. It's a bit jumpy, flashing from one point to another. A little more action to give a feel for the world and characters would be nice. Overall it is a good piece, and sounds like it can develop further, or maybe a little more back history to create sympathy for Sue, other times that he cheated, or abusive partnerships. A thought... if you ...

The struggle of innocence and youth, this poem captures the essence of it. Your language is simple and forward like the poem, leaving a solid impression on the mind and heart. I think most folk can relate with this, struggling to find that neat little perch in life where we find comfort, hope and security, to find out it is not what we expected and yet we still try to reach and obtain that state in mind and heart. Gavion E. Chandler.

Your beginning is strong and abrupt and drags you in. The story has allot of room to maneuver and twist, as the Being and Man may or may not come to struggle against the other. "It shuts him up with one powerful uppercut, driving the thug’s jaw back and up into his skull, teeth shattering on the point of impact, and the shards and the few whole ones pierce the sinus cavities. The lower jaw flies upwards and smashes into the bottom of the upper jaw, fusing into one mangled mesh of bone and mea...

It's simple, sweet and to the point, and elegantly put. To complicate with flowery language and little tricks and trades of the english language would do it a disservice. The simple innocent affection spoken in your words is enough. Gavion. E. Chandler.

Again your dialogue and actions keeps the reader interested in the characters and the hanging climax leaves waiting for the next chapter. Honestly, I like how it reads and really wouldn't change anything. Gavion E. Chandler

Wisdom is a grain of salt in a wound that hurts an ego that is not willing to be honest with itself. You take the good and bad with everything, and just plain honest advise. Your blog was presented in a gentleman fashion and I don't think it will give any one cause to gripe so thank you. Gavion E. Chandler

It is a very sentimental piece, and the flow of your words paint pretty affections and the fact that I could never write in rhyme, well I give you kudos for that. Your sense of imagery is appealing, but as for being published in an anthology it would depend upon the publisher. Most likely it is publishable and it is a pleasing enough piece. All in all I liked it. Scaramouche... in Twilight's Shadow... a Dream...

your scenes and interaction of characters flow very nicely and your invention of the sailors and their peasant songs reminds me of Monty Python and Sir Robin and band of Minstrels,who was eaten and everybody cheered. I don't know what was the the fist act was like, but it is done very well. The created relationships between Robin, Lancelot, Guinevere, and the others is well done and humorous. Of what I have read I like it as for improvements, or suggestions I really don't have any because I d...

It starts out so innocent, and then spirals into a dark and morouse. THis would make an excellent Cereal Killer epilogue.. nicely done. By the way I could never write in verse. Scaramouche... in Twilight's Shadow... a Dream...