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sciencefictioncomedy's profile
AGE:
36
LOC: Tehachapi, CA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 26
LOC: Tehachapi, CA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 26
I grew up reading satire: Douglas Adams, Stanley Elkind, Terry Pratchet, and others. I love reading science fiction books that pose new and interesting scientific concepts but also make you laugh. Our society is hilarious and there is no reason why an alien society would be any different. I have been working on an immersive science fiction comedy environment called Duke’s World. The idea is that you can read the books, but if you have an interest in a particular character then you can read short stories about their lives. I want Duke’s World to be so huge that it is too much for a series of books. The short stories I will be posting are about characters from the book Duke’s World.
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Version 4
4 Reviews
1 Comment
I. Within timbers thick and hid by mountains grand, There lies a pyre of bodies as vast as the Sahara sands. This place has been seen in nightmares and dreams. It is the place where the Master toils and schemes. I fear to tell you just how to find The entrance to this place of grim design. For, I know that if you are like me You will collect your pack and venture to see. I have seen the Master with my own eyes. A more dreadful creature there has never been. His hate blossoms soulful cries And...
Version 1
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A dragon, with glorious wings And the strength of beams Of sun that would have filled The night with a powerful light. He has fallen to the earth. He has crashed with the ground And become it’s terror sound, Doomed to fill man with hate and spite. Why have you fallen? You, whose purpose it was to shed light, Why have you embraced the night? You must feel terribly alone, Wandering the earth as a ghost . Why would you leave your place? Sadness prevailed in your space As you streaked through the...
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Version 1
1 Review
1 Comment
Twine your black hair. Swirl it around me. Strangle my view, With your unveiling It’s a black jettison From your pate. Strands of coal that hang, As you, Amy, Standing in a negligee. Barely hiding What I want to see. Simply, Your gaze Resting upon me, And your body Yielding Acceptance and love. It’s a paradise of hope.
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Version 1
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When touch called itself thy hand, It felt me as a mouth with spoon. My nipples popped between thy lips. Thy mouth gave them a suckling kiss, As a lily that in season blooms. But, I fear when gravers loom With ferric spade and toothless grin, That fading love with parting gloom Will claim thy failure to win. Please, let not thy passions die, When the fickle hour leaves, When my aging sight is seen, To be an old hag walking beside thee. Marry me thus, my sweet.
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Version 1
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I am as cold as a blizzard day with chilled globes for eyes That cannot see the warmth within man’s fleshy cries. I speak but do not hear the whispers of careful voices. Reason has been the guide that has sojourned with me. It has kept me from the hollow delivery of bodies Still holding their souls with mournful cries. You see? I love pale skin. It excites me as the full moon caresses the intimations of a wolf. I would have traveled in sleek shadows beyond weak glass. My passage would have le...
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Your character development is excellent. Madame Chantal and Andrew are good well-rounded characters while the old man and nephew are good flat characters. The plot of the story is well-conceived. I thoroughly enjoyed the story. "besides it is raining cats and dogs" The rain is a sort of cage for Andrew, and it is an excellent device for building suspense. I like how you mention the effects of the storm on the house while they are speaking. It might be better to escalate the savagery of the st...
It is one of the best poems I have read on Urbis. The imagery is excellent. The only thing I didn't like was the last sentence. It seemed to me that the tercet before the last line summed up the poem quite well.
I am assuming that the trees are obstacles in life and the poem is using imagery to describe your life. Good job.
All in all, it is an excellent fantasy story. The characters are complex and engaging. The story is extremely character driven. But, there are so many characters that it does get a little confusing even with the double breaks. You have done an excellent job with POV shifts. The story is actually interesting. I would like more descriptions of the settings though. You are excellent at dialogue and character development, but you need to pay a little more attention to setting. You want the reader...
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