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AGE:
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LAST LOGIN: January 11
LAST LOGIN: January 11
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Version 1
10 Reviews
2 Comments
I just found out The Yellow Ranger is dead. She died four years ago in a car accident September 3rd 2001 and that’s what I’m thinking about while I’m giving my baby sister a bath. When I was little The Yellow Ranger was my hero because she was beautiful and brave and beat the giant scarecrow monster to save her favorite doll. The Yellow Ranger was the coolest. And maybe it’s weird that I’m sad about this because it’s not like I knew her and it’s not like I’ve even watched powe...
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Version 1
11 Reviews
1 Comment
It was a cold day in November when Chance came back home. And of course wasn’t recognized. I use to remember him being so much taller then me. I use to remember people saying what a beautiful boy he was. I use to remember knelling beside him in church when they put the crackers under our tongue and gave us the wine that wasn’t really wine because it was grape juice. I thought about the last day I saw him how my Mother screamed “How can you do this to me? How can you do this?†and how ...
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I enjoyed this and enjoyed reading it. I honestly thought I would be bored by it due to the whole day at the beach summary and I do wish a little more had happened but it was still an enjoyable story and I enjoyed your descriptions : The tide was out. The small, narrow strip of beach along the Orkney West Mainland shore was deserted, except for a few scattered sandpipers poking their bills into the damp sand near the ocean’s edge, the fulmars and kittiwakes flying overhead, and Maggie Macka...
Very good, very creative. It reminded me of Edgar Allan Poe and had a somewhat crrepy vibe to it which I enjoyed, "When the stage is longer field And the valleys cannot yield, The end of dearer times, and foe Are near, as well as lover’s woe" I don't usually enjoy rhyming poems because I feel like the rhymes often take away from the poem (usually becuase they're terrible) but you obviously have talent and know how to use it.
Maybe it's just because this is about a stripper but I found this story hard to get into. Your story is not horribly written it just needs some work. Something I'd recommend working on is character development, give me a reason to want to read the story, feel something for your character's even if it's disgust, other wise what you've got is nothing more then the plot of a lame B-movie.
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