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shannon_hart's profile
AGE:
21
LOC: New Zealand
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: October 09
LOC: New Zealand
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: October 09
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If I speak in the tongues of men and angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. The Bible 1 Corinthians 13:1-2 Quem di diligunt adulescens moritur Whom the gods love die young. Plautus Bacchides 1.817 1. The Life and Death of Myself The sixth and final thing you should know about me is that ...
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I love your use of motif - the continuing reference to Elvis songs meld seamlessly in. The humor is black and wry, and the irony is not lost - both things I really appreciate in writing and makes your story stand out. It is quite usual to have a main character as vile as lisping Elvis is, but it fits and you pull it off.
There are some small issues with the flow between the different scenes, I think. But - you can clearly write, carry a narrative really well and have quite a knack for dialogue. The characters are gritty and well-drawn.
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