sherij9429's profile
AGE:
41
LOC: Lincolnshire, IL
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: July 21
LOC: Lincolnshire, IL
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: July 21
38 year old single female, starting to find my voice again.
Chicago-burbs.
Hope you will take this journey with me!
xo
sheri
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Version 1
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"Fear is what keeps me invisible."
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Version 3
3 Reviews
2 Comments
Chapter ONE Just Another Day I remember the first time I ever saw him. Standing in the living room of my girlfriend Karas apartment, waiting for her to find her red leather boots, so we can go out drinking. It is Fall 1989. I am 21 years old. MTV is on. Smoking a Marlboro Light, I’m standing in front of the TV watching the tail end of another Great White video. (Yawn... all the guys are so ugly in this band!) Kara is shouting from her bedroom, "I can’t find my other FUCKING RED BOOT!" "Did yo...
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Version 2
3 Reviews
5 Comments
Chapter ONE Just Another Day I remember the first time I ever saw him. Standing in the living room of my girlfriend Karas apartment, waiting for her to find her red leather boots, so we can go out drinking. It is Fall 1989. I am 21 years old. MTV is on. Smoking a Marlboro Light, I’m standing in front of the TV watching the tail end of another Great White video. (Yawn... all the guys are so ugly in this band!) Kara is shouting from her bedroom, "I can’t find my other FUCKING RED BOOT!" "Did yo...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
1 Review
2 Comments
Chapter ONE Just Another Day I remember the first time I ever saw him. Standing in the living room of my girlfriend Karas apartment, waiting for her to find her red leather boots, so we can go out drinking. It is Fall 1989. I am 21 years old. MTV is on. Smoking a Marlboro Light, Im standing in front of the TV watching the tail end of another Great White video. (Yawn... all the guys are so ugly in this band!) Kara is shouting from her bedroom, "I cant find my other FUCKING RED BOOT!" "Did you ...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
8 Reviews
6 Comments
"Touch me…" I whisper, wanting to feel his hands on me. My head, turning to kiss him behind me. His hand, reaching between my thighs, touching the lace of my panties, and the warmth underneath them. Finding me with his fingers. My breath faster. "Give me your tongue," I beg. Our first real kiss… Me, sucking his tongue between my lips. Wanting all of him. He straddles me quickly, reaching for the nightstand, and our stash of condoms. Reminding me, of an hour ago, the walk to the gas station. T...
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I struggled with this piece. I found myself having to reread sentences because there weren't enough commas and some of the tenses of words confused me. I understand that you want the reader to feel like Patrick and Sophia are really in love, but some of the dialogue is over the top nauseating. If you are going to do the flashback thing, i suggest that you try something a little more diverse that shows more than just lovey dovey in a different locale. Watch your tenses. KEEP WRITING, you will ...
this gave me the creeps! Not you, not anyone belongs in a place like that! What is the matter with kids? Made me think.. made me scared. good write, grabbed me, made me sick.. just like you.
This is sweet. The prince seems like a bit of a charmer for 8.. Not so much of a terror as traditional 8 year olds are.. I would like to see more of this, where you go with these characters. Does she fall for his older brother, does the prince "crush" on her? You can go so many different directions with this!!!
At least you were up front about it! That is a long set up for where you go with this piece. I do like the stream of consciousness though. This reads more like a confessional than anything. Nice work.
This made me laugh, it made me think! How true! Kudos to you for holding your tongue! Nice read, easy to follow and captures the human-ness of us all. Impressed that you keep going back! Thank you for sharing this story!
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