shortnsweet46's profile
AGE:
19
LOC: Livonia, MI
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: October 29
LOC: Livonia, MI
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: October 29
I’m a 19 year old student at Grand Valley State University on the west side of Michigan. I am going through a period in my life where I have no clue what I want to do, despite jumping head first into the pre-med program for the past year and a half. I have fallen far away from writing in the past year or so and I hope to pick it back up and recieve more advice on it. My most recent posts date back to a year ago….so bear with me. I will try to update soon. I need to dig deeper into my creativity!
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Carefree Learn to let go. Let go of your fear. Your past. You are not a broken person, but an individual whose life has been shaped by fragments that no one will understand. Embrace your differences love your similarities learn to forgive yourself, because you are sure to learn a lesson or two along the way. Have no regrets Erase no footsteps Use them as a map to your future Take a few deep breaths and live each moment at a time. Love your past for the person it has made you Love your future ...
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You hold my life up with your hands Pulling strings sewn through my heart with every step it beats for you with every tug im drawn to you your hands wont let me stray away the strings get shorter every day you move. I move. you speak. I believe. you walk. I fall. my heart is in your hands.
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Who I have become is still something I struggle to figure out every day. The choices I have made become puzzles of the past that put themselves together with each and every day that passes. Believing that everything happens for a reason, but seldom realizing that the reasons are found only after the picture is shattered. A reason is needed to pick up the fragments. Glue the rituals of life in place in order to avoid sheer chaos. Never does it cross your mind that pain strengthens the soul. T...
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Distance. Between my past my present my future So far away where memories dont reside where laughter and cries are simple ideas not pieces of who I was So far away that I cant grasp today and for what this mind keeps ticking for No chance to feel alive So far away are the days ahead The ones that are sure to hold me up to be somebody new
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Just take my heart in your hand Shape it to fit yours Never let go of my soul
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Very interesting points you bring up. You could probably have used a few more descriptive words to carry the reader from one scentence to the next. I was sort of reading to expect a scentence to capture me, but it never quite happened. Great ideas in this poem..and i wonder if life is simple and troubled, or if life goes along across an unshifting basis and we have yet to get used to the rifts and bends in the pathway. Just something to think about ;). Maybe dig a little deeper on some of the...
absolutely amazing. This is the kind of writing that urbis is made for...Well, i mean..this is the model every poet should be looking after. Your words are so incredibly descriptive that i can close my eyes and picture everthing myself. You leave nothing to the imagination and you truely bring the reader to the scene. Amazing.
50.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
cute! The first half of it sort of sounds like a one night stand kinda deal where the man is going to take the walk of shame. I was totally taken by surprise at the end when you said that you had fallen in love with your best friends. You could maybe find a way to portray sort of a loving view on this "creature" that is pretending to sleep in bed next to you....not in some romantic sense, but just hint at it a little bit...maybe so the ending isnt such a surprise.
Very well written and constructed. I havent yet mastered the technique of formatting my poem into short lines. Your poem has alot more effect with the correct formatting you use. It definately is a sad poem, but becasue of what it is saying...you could probably try to deliver a little more pain to the reader through your words if you really wanted to captivate the reader. It is clear that you have lost someone dear. Find a way to translate that pain onto paper without being too specific. Or ...
hahaha I loved this. Creative and you have a great sense of humor. I love how you have the ability to write about anything and take your own creative spin on it. We talk about that alot in the writing classes I am in and I havent quite mastered that yet. Like I said though, clever. I liked it.
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