Your understanding of truth and beauty confounds me...but you knew that. I can see more than the words and images suggest but the poem itself exists beyond the simple phrases that define it. Of course you blend thought and feeling in seemless harmony, you've always had that gift, always found language to drive the sharp dagger of love deep into the human soul that longs to feel. The poem is strong in both form and content. The thematic concerns of love and loss, rebirth and hope are beautiful...

I have to disagree with the first review...this is not expressions of cliched thoughts and phrasings. I'll explicate the first stanze to illustrate my position... Lying in death, living in hope, spiraling towards reality to find an eternity that’s been so long echoing and still we kiss away the cold as one. The opening line introduces a uniquely phrased contradiction as 'death' and 'living' juxtapose each other, suggesting both the eventual and ironic conclusion of life. The idea of 'lying in...

The most mature expression of love and loss i've read from you to date. You've cultivated a powerful command of image and action that gives your poetry force and depth. The disturbing presense of the insane unsettles whatever stable and hopeful perspective the reader brings to the work. I love the simple and sublime expression of absolute pain you so easily invoke, "Staring at you I want to scream". I feel as though I know exactly what you mean at a level beyond words. Masterful. I miss this ...

I was concerned after the first stanza this would be more broken prose than an actual poem but by the end you have effectively blended thought and expression to create a rather unique image of man in the quest for universal understanding. The opening stanza could be more artfully phrased and set an appropriate tone for what follows. It does function well as a topic introduction but its lack of rhythm ill suits it to be the opening lines. I'd suggest you begin but reworking it. The thematic co...

I love your mixture of chilling images that underscore the direct statements of loss and broken love and longing and alone-ness. The tone you set in the first line works well throughout the poem as does the sustained concern with what is known and what is unknowable. I'm not sure what to do with the line, "my blood flow is endless"; it contradicts the statement that "our time is so short" and the act of "dying always alone" at the end. The physical movement of blood through the body suggests ...

The characters are the most compelling element in the story for me. The relationship between Angela and her mother is the heart of the story. This is a solid foundation to build on. Linguinstically the story suffers from some rather cliche passages that are distracting. For example, "The dog is perched expectantly under his seat". There is nothing exactly wrong with the discription but dogs cannot perch (i imagine the dog up on two legs begging), in a literal sense, and the line doesn't reall...

First, the use of internet language "ur" and "u" has a significant impact on the poem, it establishes an immature and unrefined tone that is appropriate to the overall sound of the poem. However, if you are going to weave that language into the poem you need to do so with more purpose. I would suggest you either infuse more of it and do so with a conscious purpose (like to give a voice to a character's thoughts or speech), or remove it completely. Your adherence to a rhyme scheme is not essen...

First, I am stubborn about a writer conveying exactly what they intended and unless you are using grammatical and word errors to make a statement or contribute to the tone, theme, etc of the poem you should review and edit. I will point out a couple "where our pictures use to be" (should be used - past tense); "I walk the these strange streets" (the should not be there); "Wondering were are you now" (where not were). Anyway, it distracts me from everything else going on the poem and as you in...

The description made me laugh...I used to have a set of those with words from Shakespeare and we used to have a great time getting drunk and trying to put them together in coherent phrases. As for the poem...its just too disjointed to have a clear and developed theme. The apparent point is that the watcher does not participate in the scene and so does not influence the goings-on but a statement of non-participation needs further relevance to sustain a theme. The line "tinglings beyond heaven"...

that i'm not sure what to make of this on the first reading is a compliment in itself...the speaker's tone is alarmingly rational for the twist ending...which is unsettling and appropriate. This is a unique brand of modern poetry in that the poem is more like an internal dialog that is devoid of the high and formal diction that usually appears in poems, but it works perfectly once the thought is complete in the final stanza. I'm not sure what the tone of the work is towards the horrific possi...