I like this, however, I don't like the part that says "Your love spiritually fuels our souls..... I think something like "this love spiritually fuels...." It feels like the person singing this is relying on the other person for their feeling of worth, attraction, etc... Also, I do not like the part "Give me your FOREVER, and I'll give you all my tomorrows - where does this leave your today's??? Other than that, not bad. You sound like a true romantic.

Very good mental picture of an estranged relationship between mother and (grown up?) child. It seems like your thoughts are raging inside, wishing you could scream at her ( mother). Then you choose to let it go....and let her go. I like this piece.

I think this topic is a good one to write about. I can feel your sense of sadness about not having a "normal" childhood. Abuse is such a tragic occurrence in today's families. I am glad that you have given up any hatred towards your father - forgiveness is good for your soul. Some of the sentence structures were a little awkward - I think there should be a period after" I don’t hate you anymore, though at times I think I should", and not a comma. Very sad topic. I am glad though that daddy di...

I have already heard something like this before. I agree, though, that is a very true statement. I do not know if this has already been quoted/published before.

I think with the rhyming lines, that this would be more fitting into the poetry category. I think it would be nice to see you develop this a little bit more, maybe having Hannah interact with the "other Hannah" ( her other self?). Otherwise, good effort.

I know that many children's pop-up books are geared towards little children, so you don't want to overwhelm them with too many words. However, on the issue of words, I think that you need to add a little more description( make it fun - is Squilly the worm a fuzzy old worm that wears a purple hat? ) I don't want you to have to rewrite the whole story, the "foundation" is good. Just make it more playful and fun, so the children who read it will have fun, too.

I think this started off as a very fun piece of writing. I think the part with the wizard is not necessary. I think you could maybe have the Friday brothers bump into each other a few more times, perhaps getting spotted, striped, etc.... Let the main characters do all the action. Cut out the middle man ( the wizard ) . This could become a very cute, funny story. Good job overall.

I like the descriptiveness of the poem ( "as weeping branches may ache with age"). You might want to use a little less , though, and stick to the main idea you are trying to convey. I am a bit confused . Is this poem about a woman, a female dog and her master, or a female and male dog??? It is not that clear to me. Also, you move from single person ("She nuzzles deeply"), and then in the same line you switch to plural person ("they groan with comfort and mastery of themselves"). I think you h...

Well, you are good at getting your stanzas to rhyme! In the second paragraph, I think it is supposed to be asleep ( one word, not two ). I am not sure that you had to make all the paragraphs rhyme with hound. It makes it sound a little redundant. You could play around with other words and still have a quite amusing, playful poem. Good job. Needs a little "tweaking".

Wow - I really liked this. I like the progression from childhood innocence to adult romance. I can really visualize the different stages in their lives. I do not think you need to change anything about this poem - I like it the way it is. Great job!!!!