singularity's profile

This is funny, but not nearly as funny as it should be. Give her life. Give her quotes so we know exactly how outrageous she is. Or make more funny shit up about her. It's truncated as it is. But it's damn fun and funny. Reminds me of Tom Robbins - someone you should check out if you haven't. Good luck, keep writing, you'll only get better.

This is pretty horrible. The lack of structure makes it painful to read. We know nothing about the characters. And the things we learn in English class, like quotes and stories, are taught for a reason. This is a miserable failure. Much like your idol.

Yeah. Ok. So this site seems to have some sort of dump truck that unloads scores of crappy writers daily. So I'm very glad do have stumbled upon your story. It's great. And actually well written and interesting and all the good things good writing is. However, you're right. The greatness breaks down with the first line of dialogue. You treat dialoge as a means to an end, that is, to move the story forward. The dialoge all seems to say exactly what needs to be said, and sounds like it comes fr...

The voice presented is quite strong. But the syntax is poor. Some simple grammatical tweaks would help this tremendously. I'm no grammar expert, but there are glaring errors like: "the temp agency he works for’s policy." Should read, "the policy of the temp agency he works for." Or, "his temp agency's policy." This bad phrasing runs throughout, but fixing it should take too much time. The piece reads like you rushed it. There are times when you go into great detail "Bonds juiced" etc.., and o...

Would be better as complete sentences. "Failed life. Gained success. Started therapy." But pretty fun and funny, none the less.