sjvance's profile

sjvance avatar
AGE: 52
LOC: United States
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: January 16
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Crime, Thrillers & Mystery / Windows to the Soul
Version 1
1 Review   0 Comments
September 24, 2008 Susanna Einstein, Literary Agent LJK Literary Management 708 Third Avenue 16th Floor New York, NY 10017 Dear Ms. Einstein: Can a man survive a childhood of horrendous abuse to find the love of his life, and finally live a normal life? What happens when that picture-perfect life is suddenly shattered by kidnapping, torture, incest, and attempted murder? These questions are answered in my crime/mystery novel, Windows to the Soul, set in present day New York. Within a span of ...
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Version 1
3 Reviews   0 Comments
September 8, 2008 Dear Ms. Einstein: I am seeking representation for my novel, a partially completed young adult horror entitled, “In search of a savior.” This story introduces the reader to young Casey Jenkins. Casey is living in a dysfunctional family where her mother is an alcoholic and her fathers attempt to avoid her results in him overworking and staying away from home. Casey’s boyfriend has recently broken off with her and left her devastated. After months of depressi...
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Crime, Thrillers & Mystery / Windows to the Soul-opportunity submission
Version 1
1 Review   0 Comments
August 31, 2008 Dear Ms. Einstein: I am seeking representation for my first novel, a partially completed crime thriller/mystery set in present day New York. “Windows to the Soul,” introduces the reader to young multi-millionaire Julian Giovanni. Raised by his grandfather, the head of the Sicilian mafia, Julian has settled in New York City where he has established four inner-city youth centers for troubled kids. Here, he tries to distance himself from the past that continues to hau...
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Crime, Thrillers & Mystery / Windows to the Soul (part 1)
Version 6
9 Reviews   6 Comments
Preface The man jerked awake suddenly. The searing pain in his head turned to a persistent pounding that instantly cleared the fog in his brain. Instinctively, he moved his hands upward to cradle his head, but stopped midway; there were handcuffs and chains shackling him. He looked at the cuffs in disbelief, fear and panic quickly took over his thoughts. He began to jerk at the cuffs, frantic to free himself. His legs were also cuffed at the ankles, restricting his movement. He maneuvered his...
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Version 1
5 Reviews   4 Comments
Prologue The stench of sulfur is overwhelming. I need to throw up, but I can’t take a chance of movement or sound in the darkness. My mind screams prayers for a savior in a moment that I am sure will lead to my death. The thing had stalked me for days. It had become increasingly braver with each attempt to reach me. I knew that this encounter was inevitable, but that did not stop the shock and panic I am feeling. My hands are feeling their way along the wall, trying desperately to find a way ...
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Reviews
Novel Treatments / Crazy Street (2008)
Locked
Very, very good. You are talented, your story and characters develop well. I think you are very creative in the way you have the girl find the door in the basement. Very cool. I can't wait to see this in the form of your first novel! Best of luck to you!
I like this very much. The way you describe adultery as an infection, is so true, and is a very inventive way to present this heartbreaking information. I gave you low on the poetry criteria because this is not poetry. I wonder if you are so talented at writing on a subject that isn't as life changing as this subject is. Minor grammar or spelling errors you can catch and correct. I would like to see it expanded to include what the "disease" did to you, your mind, body and soul, by taking away...
Children's / The Circus
Locked
Crime, Thrillers & Mystery / To Love Is To Die.
First and second sentece need to be linked, otherwise second doesn't make sense on it's own. Sentence structure. Walking through the house, he made sure to make mental notes of the things he saw. - reword, "He made sure to make mental notes of his oberservations while walking through the house." The sound of his voice as it traveled through her mind made him almost made him seem surreal. - rework sentence She rolled over to her side, as her hair flowed down her back and spread out behind her....