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skottmjfarkus's profile
AGE:
27
LOC: Naples, FL
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 08
LOC: Naples, FL
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 08
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Items
Version 1
13 Reviews
0 Comments
As I approach the sea for my libation, I walk towards the sinking sun. The waves begin to flood the land. As blackness dawns, I need not run. As I awake I ask Is this real? As I awake in a tall city building, I see a vicious storm on nigh. A metal god descends among the cyclones, And casts me down from the darkened sky. As I awake I ask Is this real? As I awake among ancient graves and tombs, The voices of dead necromancers mock me. I take shelter as the voices promise death And chant an anci...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
9 Reviews
0 Comments
How do you feel... When you're broken and you're lonely And there's no one there for comfort. In denial of your feelings, It feels worse now that it's your turn. Your affections are just tasteless Now I know your motivation. It burns you on the inside When you taste your medication. How do you feel... When your frayed and burned up spirit Leaves you restless and broken. When you're gasping for some fresh air, But you find yourself still choking. You find yourself abandoned And thrown out by t...
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Reviews
Very lyrical. I like it. It shows relationships are imperfect, but it ultimately doesn't matter. As long as the two people in it are willing to keep going.
The overall piece is good, but the events leading up to the encounter seem rushed. The good thing is though, there is plenty of room for more details. What did they look like? How did they look at eachother? It seems important to provide deatils like these when leading up to the encounter. It's good overall.
I personally think there's no wonder why this is being published. My only criticism is the physical description of each of the characters (as far as their respective heights and weights). I do, however, realize that this is part of the character's persona, so I can accept that. I love the attention to detail. That's definately important for the main character's occupation and I like how it's reflected in the narrative. Overall, great story. I wish you all the best in your success.
I could see this published in a magazine. I like the visualization it generates; it's locked in with the emotions described. It has more of a flow of a poem. Very good.
I like this. It presents itself with a good, everyday setting at the community center. The details presented so far are good; enough to keep my attention without going too far off- course. I think the back story of Ms. Jobeleah could've been expanded a little bit more. Maybe a bit of reworking to emphasize the mystery that surrounds her, maybe make it seem more ominous. I'll definately read the first two chapters and keep my eye out for new material.
50.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
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