smoothie's profile
AGE:
29
LOC: Hamilton, OH
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: January 02
LOC: Hamilton, OH
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: January 02
This user has not yet uploaded an urbis user description/profile.
Items
Version 1
2 Reviews
0 Comments
each drop of blood brings me closer to the end its so slow not the best way to go but to late fate gotta hold a me yup striped down to reality this painful ache startin in my toes damn blood coming out my nose bitch you ant even know the half of it the way blood flows the puddle covers my clothes runs down to my toes stupid fucking blood bubbles coming out my mouth and nose shit its cold on concrete streets hows a bitch suppose to sleep damn snap back to reality open your eyes damn bitch you ...
Ratings & Rankings
[ View all items ]
Reviews
alright fix your line 2.1 you need to add familys table instead of (on your family)....its ok i am becoming bored fast lets hope it picks up
i loved your telling of this over all a great write i felt it a bit rushed at the end but i was impressed and captivated...
thats great over all loved it but hmm your line of (a glitter of a thousand desires) its not a easy phrase to most it might sound better like a glitter of a thousand and one desires just a thought ..... anyways i really liked it
i don't know over all i like it but then i don't your right the flow is off but to change some of what i think is wrong changes it all together i don't like your line of (ever would, ever did) but thats just me you do have talent though .......
i found the depth there but over all it didn't come across as i think you intended how ever i found it moving i wanted to get lost it just never got me to that point you have talent which is clear..... o
[ View all reviews ]
Favorites
People
