snarfus's profile

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AGE: 31
LOC: Drexel Hill, PA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: November 20

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Action Adventure / Teen Templars: Year One (Ch. 1 Pt. 3)
Version 1
8 Reviews   3 Comments
         Polecat looked out the window of the second floor class room of the condemned elementary school in West Philadelphia. The criminals he had shaken down so for that day had told him that Blitz dealers often made sales here. He had scoped out the dilapidated building and chose Room 202 as his stakeout point. Tactically, it was a sound decision; the windows had a clear view of street it faced, as well as the two nearest intersections, allowing him ...
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Action Adventure / Teen Templars: Year One (Ch. 1 Pt. 2)
Version 1
10 Reviews   4 Comments
         Randy Davenport woke up and looked at his clock. 11:15 am. He groaned. He hadn’t meant to sleep so late. On the other hand, summer was running out, and he wouldn’t have the luxury of sleeping in for much longer. Still, he had things to do today. With a sigh, he heaved himself out of bed and went about the usual morning business.         After he had showered, brushed his teeth, gotten dressed, and ...
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Horror / Prayer
Version 1
13 Reviews   8 Comments
           Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name. Hear the prayer of Your humble servant.             First, I ask of you to forgive my sins. A member of the congregation, Jasper Howell, came to me last Tuesday seeking comforting words, words of the Lord. Jasper looked as if he had seen years worth of horrors in less than a day. I’ve know Jasper quite a while and knew well ...
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Action Adventure / Teen Templars: Year One (Ch. 1, Part 1)
Version 1
11 Reviews   5 Comments
         Even in the darkness of the warehouse, Polecat could see the guns pointed at him. There were three armed men altogether- two right in front of him, one off to his left. Holding his quarterstaff out in front of him, Polecat thought that if the general public knew about the armed thugs making threats in warehouses that smelled like urine, they’d think being a superhero was much less glamorous.        It should&...
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Action Adventure / See How They Twist and Shout
Version 1
9 Reviews   8 Comments
         Chester Davenport grimaced as the burly federal agent hefted him to his feet. Manacles were none too gently slapped on his wrists as he was forcibly loaded into the back of the prisoner transport vehicle. Arrest was unpalatable enough for the average citizen, but he was The Whirligig- the Sultan of Spin, the Viceroy of Vertigo, one of the most notorious (and stylish) paragons of super-villainy of the last 25 years! His peers would never let him...
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Reviews
Humor/Satire / you wake up...
by Deadsage
When, I read the first sentence, with it's 2nd person narration, I was "Ooh, this is like Fight Club." However, with the haikus and complaining about office work, I was "This is TOO much like Fight Club." Even with more of a focus on loss of childhood innocence than Fight Club had, it still comes off as derivative, which is really a shame. Even if you gave a few more details about "you" would go a long way to separating this, "like your name is *blank*, you are *blank* years old..."
Quotes / Acai Berry Detox
by desireable
Locked
Action Adventure / Strange Things Happen Prologue/ Ch. 1
by Alexandra1995
Locked
Action Adventure / Samui Hotel
by samuihotel01
Locked
Quotes / 123 Pages
by SkyeRayven
This sounds really condescending. It sounds as if you think everyone else is behind you, especially by mentioning the exact page count. It comes off as pretentious. If that's how you meant it, you might want to inject a bit of humor or absurdity or something so that it's clearer to the reader.
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