somebill's profile

It's an interesting piece. There are some good images and there is decent tension. The only real problem I had was with the pacing in the dream. Well, that and if this is going to be called the strangest story ever told you better get a hell of a lot stranger later. But we come into this strange place and rather than see it or feel it in any way we are rushed from spot to spot. We see a tropical vista, then in a bog, then in a village, all disjointed and brief. This might have been on purpose...

I'm not going to talk about the writing all that much. It seemed decent, although it wasn't as smooth as it could have been. I usually phase out on the grammar and all when I get caught up in the story. That happened here. It is a very nice beginning. I have to say that it feels very familiar. The story is fat with fantasy cliche. So much so that I feel like half of what will happen is obvious. The missing mother, the evildoers and emperor concerned with some kid, the training with the hard v...

I don't have anything critical to say about this. It was sort of perfect. The end isn't a surprise, but the monster line is good, chilling and satisfying. Real nice story.

There are some nice thoughts in the story. The sameness of things make sense as you laid out the reasons for it. It is not well developed but the length of the story would make it impossible. So it works here. The ideas of what nature and diversity mean are sweet. Some of it feels unoriginal. The description of a cold, uniform world doesn't do much that has not already been done. The factories are cool, but the functions of food air and babies are old hat in this sort of setting. When he smel...