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sophiebennett's profile
AGE:
20
LOC: Oneonta, AL
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: November 01
LOC: Oneonta, AL
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: November 01
...I didn’t like the last description of myself so I will start over. My pen-name is Sophia Alisa Bennett. But I have conditions for all of that so you can just call me Sophie or get to know me on a more personal level and find out my real name.
I am an English and Language Arts Education Major and will be attending Auburn University next fall to continue on to finishing my BA. I’m not saying I’m the worlds best at English, writing, grammar or anything along those lines but I’m fairly experienced in it. If you need help with editing your work, send me a message.
My passion is writing. I write short stories, novels, the occasional poem or two (though my poetry has won several awards it’s not my favorite thing to write), screenplays and…
Reviews
I didn't understand why Elder Hale has childish features, like was described in the first few sentences. Maybe that's because I havan't read the first chapter. I thought it was a little odd that an older man would have younger features. Since I didn't really know who this description was talking about, I pasted it: "For a moment she just looked at him, small of frame, bright, brown-amber eyes, brown and red hair, tan skin, and a hard expression." This description seems almost like a run-on se...
Ha, it kinda bothers me that a six year old would do those things but, that's just me. The description of everything was fairly good and I liked some of the imagery. As is in almost every submission, including my own, there were some punctuation errors where some commas could be moved and some could be added. But the first few sentences were written in second person and the rest was in third. You might want to change that or set the part written in second person aside as a preface or prologue...
Wow, that was a very good imatation of Shakespeare. I could definitely recognize the rhyming where you had placed it. The description of love in this poem was awesome and I especially liked the part where it said "my hand thy glove." I don't like reading poetry on this site that much but this was wonderful. For some reason, the title made me think of The Twa Corbies; I know it's weird but oh well. I absolutely loved it! sophie
I was a little bored with the beginning. There were some places that need to be revised and edited correctly with punctuation. A couple of the sentences seemed like run-ons, maybe you could shorten them or use a semicolon. I think that your dialogue needs a little work. It just doesn't really fit to me, seeing as the characters aren't even teenagers and, despite that they are 'gifted', I think they would speak more like their age. Not only referring to this particular submission on the story....
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