specjalista's profile
AGE:
25
LOC: Champaign, IL
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: November 08
LOC: Champaign, IL
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: November 08
I have always wanted to wrtie despite what I percieve as a lack of natural talent. I love to engage life and value of all the experiences I encounter. I know the above statement can be somewhat cliche. I also have a high need for stimulation.
Items
Version 1
2 Reviews
0 Comments
IV Asking out Her name was Rebecca and we had exchanged glances multiple times in our speech class, and eventually I had mustered up the courage to smile at her. She was cute, blonde, about 5’5”, and she even seemed halfway intelligent. I wanted to ask her out, but exchanging smiles with her in class had been hard enough. For the first few classes of that semester I chose to reason out my insecurity by convincing myself that the likelihood of her being a bitch was quite high, and that I was m...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
1 Review
0 Comments
Her name was Beth and we had exchanged glances multiple times in our speech class, and eventually I had mustered up the courage to smile at her. She was cute, blonde, about 5’5”, and she even seemed halfway intelligent. I wanted to ask her out, but exchanging smiles with her in class had been hard enough. For the first few classes of that semester I chose to reason out my insecurity in asking her out by convincing myself that the likelihood of her being a bitch was quite high, and that I was ...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 2
5 Reviews
5 Comments
It felt good. It felt good to have my palm wrapped around the handle, and my index finger firmly holding the trigger. I knew that it was unloaded, but nonetheless I felt a sense of power. In my hands I held a machine that was capable of destroying a life. With the pull of one finger I had the power to make a decision on who would live and who would die. Granted I would have to aim it correctly and pull it before someone did the same to me. It was my first time holding any real gun, much less...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
6 Reviews
2 Comments
It felt good. It felt good to have my palm wrapped around the handle, and my index finger firmly holding the trigger. I knew that it was unloaded, but nonetheless I felt a sense of power. In my hands I held a machine that was capable of destroying a life. With the pull of one finger I had the power to make a decision on who would live and who would die. Granted I would have to aim it correctly and pull it before someone did the same to me. Anyway it was my first time holding any real gun, mu...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
2 Reviews
2 Comments
“Just relax,” he calmly stated as he began to remove the pellet lodged in my back. “Relax, how the fuck am I supposed to relax when you just shot me in the back,” I retorted. Jesus Christ what a cocksucker. Who the hell shoots their friend in the back with a pellet gun? I had been standing their not really taking him seriously. Of course he wouldn’t shoot me I had thought. He is just fucking off. “Dude, I didn’t mean to hit you. I’m so sorry.” “What do you mean that you didn’t mean to hit me...
Ratings & Rankings
[ View all items ]
Reviews
"corner a couple crouches in panic"- put an adjective in front of couple to make the sentence clearer. " source of the sweet smell, oh so sweet" - source of the oh so sweet smell- would sound better and be clearer. "One Month Earlier Outer space," - put a colon after Earlier and then put outer space on the same line. -One Month Earlier: Outer Space- Opening sentences about the meteor sharing its knowledge is well written and deep. I really like this section. "her if she thought her little gi...
A little vague initially. The description of the hunt is good and created good visual imagery in my head. I think some of the sentence structures are choppy at times, I would recommend using dashes in starting new sentences when supporting certain thoughts your character is having. I also found commas that were unnecessary. " Stretch the hunt out until you feel like you can’t bear it anymore. Then take the leap and sink your teeth in. It made the taste so much more satisfying." - I dig this l...
The intro (1st 2 paragraphs) confused me as I was unaware of the context of the story. Where is this guy and what is he talking about. The clarity of this story needs to be improved. While you convey the feelings of the narrator you confuse the reader as to what he is upset about and what he is referencing. I think the paragraphs are not broken up appropriately and add to the confusion. While the content of the narrators emotions and thoughts seem intriguing, it is important that you make the...
The emotional tone of the narrator is very well conveyed to the reader. I think possibly adding a little more internal dialogue when he is in the other room on the phone would create a sense of anticipation in the reader about what would happen next. Just a creative thought. I would rewrite the last line, as I can tell that you are trying to hit the reader with this fact, but I think it is not the intense effect you wish. Good work, I enjoyed reading it.
[ View all reviews ]
Favorites
People
