stargirlDR's profile
AGE:
22
LOC: Gaithersburg, MD
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: September 26
LOC: Gaithersburg, MD
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: September 26
I’m 18 years old and a college student majoring in Creative Writting at Susquehanna University.
I lived in a small town all of my life (so small that we didn’t even have our own postal address) and for some unknown reason chose a college in a small town as well. When I feel the pressure of small town life, I’ve found that reading and writting are both great escapes. I love being able to get away from the troubles in this world, and have found that both of these things help me to do that.
I generally write stories, most of which have some aspects of the fantasy genre. The stories come from my dreams, memories, and of course imagination. I always start a story with an idea of where I want it to go, but the path almost always change…
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Shivering in bed / windows open for fresh air / falling into frozen slumber / Dreaming of the forest / Blood red sky / Trees blacker then night / leaves tainted red / blood running through their veins / Wind blows loudly / a banshee’s scream / cursed my family / Running from the nightmares / the monsters re-appear / killing those I care about / memories I can’t erase / Tripping over moving roots / escape the branches grasping arms / Running from the forest / a living labyrinth / walls changin...
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8 Reviews
3 Comments
The Mothers stand on stage in their formal robes, their hair flowing down their backs and blowing slightly in the wind as they stare judgingly at the mass of bodies forced to gather at a moment’s notice. The quiet chatter ceased completely as Mother Celestine raised her hands and spoke. “Welcome Brothers and Sisters of Quailesti. Elder Mother felt that this meeting was desperately needed to increase the output of hope throughout the universe.” She paused for a moment waiting for the masses to...
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24 Reviews
9 Comments
Emma stands frozen, staring into the eyes of her best friend terrified. “Nance, what’s wrong?” she asks already knowing the answer, fearing it. Nancy just smiles and takes another step towards her. Emma’s instincts scream at her to run, but she her heart refuses to leave Nancy behind. Even though she knows there was nothing she can do. Nancy moves closer, soon she will be next to Emma. Soon she will be able to touch her. Emma can’t let that happen. She knows that if she does then she will bec...
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7 Reviews
2 Comments
“So what story do you want to hear tonight,” Zora’s mother asked, her hand running across the self of picture books, “Cinderella, The Three bears, Blueberries For Sal…” “None, I want to hear about the blessed ones.” Zora responded her voice filled with hope. “Oh I don’t know, are you sure that’s what you want?” Zora’s mother sighed inwardly, ever since she had found that children’s book Blessed and Chosen; a collection of fantasy tales for young adventurers at the antique store she had been ...
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9 Reviews
2 Comments
I took a deep breath and walked over to the tables at Encore, the tarot cards I had just bought in my hands. I had planned to walk in and ask students if they wanted a reading done, but as I stood there I became more and more self-conscious. I wasn’t the most experienced reader, and even though I had promised myself I would, I hadn’t memorized the minor arcana yet. Part of me was desperately searching for an excuse to put off the readings. I stood there for a moment longer before sitting down...
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This definately reads better then the first draft did. The images are sharper and the plot is a little bit easier to follow. That said, some of the dialogue seems just a tab bit forced especially when Katherine and Void are fighting Kate screws up her face and thinks ...someone else and moaning. really the fact that thinking is differnt then sex is kind of obvious so that part of the sentence is unneeded, or should be put in parenthesis. Other then that you've done a good job, the mild humor ...
This is really interesting but it reads a little bit like a text book. While to a point that makes sense because it is non fiction it does not really attract as many people as it could. The information is good, but the presentation could be worked on. This piece goes all the way back to when the land was first found. All the information is needed, but if you had it in a different order you might be able to hold people's attention. It helps to start anything you write with the action or as clo...
This is not bad, but it could use a little bit of editimg. The dialogue is a a little confusing try adding a few tail end, void said, doug said sort of things. I could follow it once Heather showed up but before that I was not always sure of who was speaking. You switch one scene to the next without any warning whatsoever. This really does not help the piece in any way and it would not be difficult for you to fix it with a transition sentence Beyond that work on word cutting in general the mo...
interesting story, but there doesn't seem to be any flow it so far, just random scenes that fallow a certain man. I'm fairly certain there were grammer and spelling mistakes throughout this piece, but I'm horrible at both so won't attempt to fix them. You need to work on your sentence structure some, right now its really repetative, say as much as you can in as few words and try to use active verbs whenever possible. This piece needs a lot of editing, but stick with it. I'm interested in seei...
Well this chapter is defiantly different. The character is interacting more, but his personality seems to have changed a lot between chapter one and chapter two. One of the problems with writing a book is that you really can not do that. This scene is seen through the same characters eyes, but instead of noticing the things that he noticed in the first chapter and making jokes he is being very serious now. Pathological liars are like that but this book is his sort of confession, so it does no...
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