you let out those expecting words with such grace and composure. no hesitation, no second guessing, just potential of what it would do to me what did you want me to let slip out of my tongue-tied mouth? I can only assume you wanted words with meaning and implications caught up in language wrapped around connotations of heartbeats with a soft symphony of lies and realizations trapped in brackets and overly punctuated messes what am I to you?

I recounted the days you were away backwards, clockwise, forward, north, south, east and west. Measuring the distance in miles, minutes, missed calls, and inconsistencies. The balancing act of here, now, then, there and maybe. It takes all of this to realize I never meant more or anything at all. The cautious way you stare across tables and tremble with those difficult string of words. The 'I'm sorry's slur out as 'what I should of done differently', and the 'I loves you' slip into actions, b...

I've been taking the steps to let you back in, I've unlocked the door to the walls that have been keeping me, slipped a piece of paper back through the mail slot that eloquently says "I miss you the most." I've been taking the steps back to being honest, I put the truth down on paper and mailed it out to sea. you must of intercepted my message, just to find out I was right in all your wrongs. I've been taking the steps back to remembering, it took me two years to try to forget: the way it fee...

Tonight was a cold darkness that you would have appreciated. Even though the numbness would have run through your fingers and you would have hated how your face would become numb and flushed from the bitter cold wind. You would stay out there much longer than I did. I walked so calmly across the sidewalk and the lightly snow covered grass, just thinking about how you would have described the way a night like this would make you believe. I can just imagine how you would have been walking besid...

It's the sound of my ipod shuffling and midnight radio shows as they radiate into out ears. Their brake lights greet us as its drum beats and heartbeats ring out of our ears. We drive slow around and down windy roads watching for its laughter in its cabrio, honking at deer for safety’s sake. It’s the color of our communication and the feeling that’s cool after it’s own rising temperatures within crowed rooms. It's after the exchange of its own warm embrace for passes and wristbands as we run ...

I have challenged all the ships in my harbor to race up and down the eastern shore; I am stuck behind the red lights and stop signs, while the ships have reached the Carolina’s shore. I have barely made it past this murderous city’s limits. They find hope upon the beaches, while I search for meaning between the cracks in the concrete. These people I surround myself with, I do them no justice by standing still in the middle of the city street, counting lights and sirens. They ask me why I do t...

I believe in the eternity that I cannot speak to you in those moments, when our eyes meet across tables, consoles and crowded rooms. Enduring the lingering time and solitude, in anxious red and green monotone hues, I’m asked by spectators if it is in fact still worth it. The waiting and contemplating, the agony of biased estimations. It is what they do not know or see that clasps us together through time and tribulations: The car ride conversations and looks of appreciated comfort that we giv...

I left my harbor two weeks ago and still I'm out here on the road traveling the eastern seaboard on silly whims and quests. I have a few faces I could go and see, but its been months, even years, they won't consider me. But the seperating distance from point a to b, keeps haunting me carelessly. Consumed in thought of who and what I've left on these abandoned shores. Yet I settle for a couple busy signals and one long distance phone call. I stare blankly at the wall, retracing every map I’ve ...

The white coat straps me down into a tattered chair; its action is chock-full with intention to be preventative. The technician finds my main line; the needle feeds the vials with my discontent. Gauging the reds versus whites, mandating the levels to utter normalcy, while contemplating the surgical procedures, and then giving me my new list of dos and don’ts. I ask for the time, every five minutes, as I stare at the cream colored walls looking for the sunshine. I asked God, “why me?”, and all...

And you know I will be subconsciously following you into every great city and state you cross into, my melodramatic ways will grab a hold of me when I go in over my head, I’ll bury my self far into the ground when you won’t be there to extend your hand to get me out. And I won’t know what to do on every other day when I go to call you and you won’t be home. I can’t help but sense the intense alteration between us, the growth of something new and strange. It’s that with every time that I begin...