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subaculture's profile
AGE:
19
LOC: Santa Fe, NM
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: November 10
LOC: Santa Fe, NM
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: November 10
I, uh, don’t play basketball and, um, if someone doesn’t experience the world, then I do not want to hear what they have to say about it! Then again the said someone is most likely a still born baby that never had anything to say, which is D-to-the-pressing if you ask me. But all of you ironic hipsters can have your laugh.
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Version 1
4 Reviews
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Rules to Citie Rule #1: Marcus always starts the conversations. Rule #2: No one ever ends their line with a question. Rule #3: They alternate after each line-- no one goes twice, I mean how could they. Rule #4: When dialogue begins there are no indents. Rule #5: And most importantly, one must want to go to Citie. *The purpose of the "Rules" is solely for the sake of having rules, so keep that in mind! Start Here----------------------------------------------------------->//Lets go Home. //N...
Version 2
0 Reviews
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First, the hour glass broke. All the sand escaped and fell in the direction known as down. It fell in a steady stream, giving off the soft sound of shifting grain-- the sound of shh. As it continuously pours out, like an eternal river filling the void, we reach out and leave our impressions in the flow. We impact it. We leave our mark, but it is only ephemeral. For when our moments are gone and we retract our hand, we only leave behind the slightest contributions. The stream is changed, partl...
Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
First, the hour glass broke. All the sand escaped and fell in the direction known as down. It fell in a steady stream, giving off the soft sound of shifting grain-- the sound of shh. As it continuously pours out, like an eternal river filling the void, we reach out and leave our impressions in the flow. We impact it. We leave our mark, but it is only ephemeral. For when our moments are gone and we retract our hand, we only leave behind the slightest contributions. The stream is changed, partl...
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The imagery of this poem is very clear and vivid. I can almost feel the "Restless heart". It is simple and to the point and it also doesn't drag on to the point where I hate every bleedind heart poet in the world. An appropriate length, something some writers will never understand. Kudos to you!
I am curious about the, uh, lingo you used "dat" and "thru". Was it intentional? If so I feel as though it should have been more heavily emphasized, if you were going for the this- is- the- cyberspace- era- and- this- is- how- we- talk age. Or maybe you are some sort of absurd/ nihilistic poet who doesn't give a damn about the conventions of even the unconventional, and lets be honest, they have them too. In that case of the latter, then there is really nothing I can say that will matter, but...
I am not a smoker, but I am friend to billions (hyperbolic, but for emphasis) so I can at least come to understand, somewhat, the desire or appeal. The feeling of, what I am doing is smoking a cigarette-- nothing else is needed to be done. The steadiness and calmness a simple drag can bring. For your piece, I feel the challenge is getting that point across to the non-smokers, so they too can relate. To understand, and therefore be able to appreciate the symbol of the cigarette's appeal, would...
I see and agree with what you are saying: people hastily review work with little, if any, actual thought, simply for their "pink" signs that seemingly promise words of glory. To be honest, that is the way it is out side of Urbis. People giving fake praise in critiques of others, but when it comes time to review their work, they are some how amazed that no one gives a shit. I honestly think Urbis' goal is, or at least should be, to make a community of writers that care about the quality of lit...
First, I mean no offense with this comment, but it seems to me sometimes the most direct (i.e. the most clear) poets are ones writting in a foreign language. I say this because they are more precise and staright forward, unlike the many poets that believe they have mastered their native language and feel no need to be clear. All that is a compliment to you. I feel mastery can lead to arrogance and irregard for audience, so I beg of you, as you develope and become more familiar with any langua...
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