sushiearl's profile

Very interesesting! I especially like the part about the hardening nipple. LOL. I feel like the more I read Drabbles, the better they are. Your imagery is fantastic. I can picture each nodule coming out and shooting electrical signals into your body. A little creepy, yes, but your story definately made me think. I don't know what I could do to critique your short work of fiction, but I do like it. I could almost see it happening...

Wow...very powerful. I really liked this! Your use of description and diction is very proficient. I especially like the lines regarding the 85 chardonnay. Romantic to the core, this poem can invoke a feeling of sensuality that many have lost. The only thing I would pursue, is the grammar and spelling. But who cares?! It's poetry! There are so many images throughout the poem. Maybe adding a few more could really bring out some more emotion. But then again, less is more. Either way, I really li...

There is a personality about your poem that I like. Diversity is a very important aspect of society, especially ours. Since this is prose, there is no real guideline that I can set in regards to what you should do to your poems, but there are a couple of things that may help. Your word choice is very important in poetry. Try to use different words. Diction has the ability to make a poem much more "poetic" without much effort. Try it out and see what you think? Additionally, we understand your...

"Now exiled to the land of learning, I long for the fragrance of hot caffeine daddy’s cologne hiding in his beard, the simplicity of early school, and notes excusing anything: To whom it may concern, please excuse my daughter from life." I really like this part. Your poem has a very strong feeling of nostalgia. I really enjoy that about poetry. If you want to make your poem stronger, be more descriptive in a poetic sense. Use diction to create pathways for your other stanzas. Your poem flows ...

There are a number of spelling and grammatical errors in this piece. Nevertheless, this is a piece that I can relate too. I am an Asian-American, and stereotypes are a bitch. But I would hope that in your future poems, you use more of your experiences in your writing. Using a personal experience can bring the reader closer to you, bringing about feelings of empathy. In that sense, the reader will appreciate your poem more than you'd think! What is an "underOvercame?" Never heard that one befo...