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t0a5t's profile
AGE:
24
LOC: United States
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: March 06
LOC: United States
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: March 06
Hello _
Nice to meet you!
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Version 1
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So... The story goes that he lost her while they were out grocery shopping. She was right along with him as they passed the vegetables. And she was still by his side, as they passed the meat section. It was when they got to the frozen foods section that he realized she was no longer with him! So, he double-backed to the previous aisles, looking for his one and only, and couldn't find her. He even searched for her under the tables that held the discounted items. And she wasn't there. So, he th...
Version 1
2 Reviews
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Fade In: Int. hotel room – sunrise We see two chairs and a table beside a window. A newspaper from yesterday, a notebook, and glasses of water occupy the space on the table. We see a man, ETHAN, leaning against a wall, watching the woman that lay asleep in his bed. The sky is slowly lightening up outside. Ethan (whispers) So, it happens once again. I feel trapped inside myself. ETHAN walks over to the table and picks up the newspaper. He glances briefly at its contents and puts it down again....
Version 2
2 Reviews
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In jail Paris now is confined, Forced to eat food unrefined. They handcuffed and stripped her. She feared they would whip her-- Well... THAT part she wouldn't quite mind!
Version 1
2 Reviews
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Paris, the jailbird beginner Cried, "Mommy!" and refused to eat dinner. When Nicole heard the news, She threw up between chews-- "I WILL be the one who is thinner!"
Version 1
1 Review
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Fade In: Ext. 7-11 parking lot – night We see a GIRL and a BOY (early thirties) sitting on a curb by a parked 1988 Cadillac Deville. We see him lightly tapping down twice on the end of a cigarette. His head swings lazily around; his eyes scanning the area. POV from the boy - there are two other cars in the parking lot. He slowly glances at the girl and waits for her eyes to catch to his. He sees the girl crouched over, hugging her knees with her chin pressed up against the inside of her arm. ...
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Reviews
I know the feeling you're describing here. The first stanza draws you in, and it just keeps going until the end. Well done. And the last three lines are just amazing especially that last one. Great start!
I like how it just rolls off the tongue. It paints a quick picture of how we learn and grow. The title fits quite well.
"The most inconvenient emotion is love." In a way, you are right when you write that. However, at the same time, love is just is. It's the best feeling in the world, and when it's over, it sucks. I liked how you ended this. Great start.
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