tash's profile
AGE:
17
LOC: Lincolnton, NC
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: January 15
LOC: Lincolnton, NC
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: January 15
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Items
Version 1
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He made me stand there for five minutes then said, “Conner will be here tomorrow to punish you. You may leave.” I walked out and went back to class. Chester was nice enough to take notes for me while I was out. I sat in his lap until the end of class then we drove to the temple. Chester parked in front of it and looked to me. He spotted the bruise on my face. “Oh my god. Oh honey what’d he do to you?” I started to cry again. “He smacked me…really hard.” Chester hugged me. “Im sorry.” He said....
Version 1
3 Reviews
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you tell your dog not to poop anywhere as you leave the room. thats like telling a baby not to cry after you forgot to feed him
Version 5
1 Review
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“If you touch her…I swear on the sins of the world I will kill you.” I heard Chester growl to the demon as I cowered in the darkness of the cold room. “And that’s a promise!” Chester slung the demon into a wall and walked toward me. I was incredibly scared. Chester closed the door behind him and smiled at me. he had such a warm smile. “Are you ok?” he asked. To be honest, I wasn’t. being kidnapped and thrown into a cold room has its effects. Chester came closer and got down on one knee in fro...
Version 4
3 Reviews
0 Comments
“If you touch her…I swear on the sins of the world I will kill you.” I heard Chester growl to the demon as I cowered in the darkness of the cold room. “And that’s a promise!” Chester slung the demon into a wall and walked toward me. I was incredibly scared. Chester closed the door behind him and smiled at me. he had such a warm smile. “Are you ok?” he asked. To be honest, I wasn’t. being kidnapped and thrown into a cold room has its effects. Chester came closer and got down on one knee in fro...
Version 3
0 Reviews
0 Comments
“If you touch her…I swear on the sins of the world I will kill you.” I heard Chester growl to the demon as I cowered in the darkness of the cold room. “And that’s a promise!” Chester slung the demon into a wall and walked toward me. I was incredibly scared. Chester closed the door behind him and smiled at me. he had such a warm smile. “Are you ok?” he asked. To be honest, I wasn’t. being kidnapped and thrown into a cold room has its effects. Chester came closer and got down on one knee in fr...
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Reviews
"...Ann’s phone message the day before: coming by at noon tomorrow, get some things; still have key; don’t feel you need to hang around. Why would he hang around? So he could attempt to convince her that she should take..." you need to mark the beginning and end of the message. I sorta lost interest after the first few paragrapghs. you need something to keep the readers hooked.
"Richard’s fraternal twin brother and the only children that Diana ever had." replace "and" with "were" "tickled as a pig in shit..." never heard that one before. I give points for originallity. "Viet Nam" one word. it kinda drags on when its talking about Howards jobs and past experences. good job overall.
theres a little too much repetition in this story. its kinda boring.
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