tatteredsoul's profile
AGE:
21
LOC: Killeen, TX
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: August 11
LOC: Killeen, TX
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: August 11
Okay so my name is dewayne, I’m divorced, have always loved to write. I enjoy reading and art. Fantasy is my game and i know how to play it well.
Items
Version 1
9 Reviews
0 Comments
Flaugon was flying through the air to crash land on a cold stone floor. The wind knocked from his chest and his head spinning, the minotaur rolled over on his side. A groan escaped his snout as he struggled to lift himself up. He opened his eyes to view his surroundings but only found a swirl of revolving colors. The world spun as a maelstrom and Flaugon was its pivoting center. He took his head into his hands and shook it in attempt to slow and straighten the world. Cautiously, Flaugon opene...
Version 1
10 Reviews
0 Comments
After years of self-imprisonment in this decaying elven body, the sorcerer would finally be able to shed his skin. He had murdered one of the Royal Guards to the House of The Kathatan. Then after disguising himself in its body, he made his way into the Prince’s chamber, where he removed one of the prince’s locks of hair whilst he slept soundly. After having the needed component, he transformed the elven guard’s body into that of the Prince of Kathatan. It was the first key to the success of h...
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Reviews
Wow. That is an awesome story. I was pulleed into it and kept interested at all times. I was confused at first because of the placement of the opeing lines but now i understand. I really liked the way you tied it into the ending. Telling the story of how a son watches his father slip away only to discover that the memory is only him slipping away from his own son. Dud i really dont know what else to say, usually its this long speech about revising and editing but this was an awesome read and ...
Okay so opening remarks. Good idea and a nice start. I think that this would make a good part of a series of memoirs or something of that nature. It was the feeling i recieved while i read ur passage. And there were key phrases that helped further my assumptions, such as you were recollecting a story of a past summer and the line: "learned throughout our short time on this earth, but we knew it all back then." I liked that line alot and i think that if you expanded on the story maybe making i...
Needs some minor work. I liked it, i believe everyone can relate to hate poems and how one feels betrayed, broken hearted and alone. I like the analogies and the way that they help to tell the story. I think that you need to work some more on the transitioning as to not lose some readers.
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