teaddub's profile

teaddub avatar
AGE: 49
LOC: Longview, WA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: November 14

I am an ancient college student. I have five kids and three grandchildren. I have earned my AA in education, and a BA in English with a writing concentration, and am now working toward an MiT so I still have a long time to go. In my English 101 class I was told I need to write. I took a creative writing class and was again told to keep writing. I wondered “Why? If no-one will ever read my work?” Then I found this website.

Item Stats
Reviewer Stats
Items
Version 2
4 Reviews   1 Comment
When I was a new father I believed: My family will always be together, And my kids will do what I say; Because I’m the parent And it’s what I say. When I was a new father, again, I believed: My five children will eventually grow up, But they will always do what I say, Because I’m the dad. Now I am a new grandfather and I know: My children were never mine, Because they were just small people, And they will not do what I say, Until they are the parent.
Ratings & Rankings
Young Adult / Shy-N-Bold
Version 1
58 Reviews   16 Comments
Because she walked around with her nose in the air, and because she seldom spoke to anyone in the school, many of her classmates thought she was stuck up. She was not one of the popular girls, and was even a bit mousy; maybe dumpy would be a good description, but none of the people who thought this about her had ever seen her dressed up. She always wore jeans and a sweatshirt, and even on the hottest days she at least wore an oversized T-shirt. Her shoes were always the same pair of approved...
Ratings & Rankings
Non-fiction / My Best Work
Version 1
11 Reviews   5 Comments
Light. Violet yellow light. Sound. Water tumbling over rocks, and a gentle stirring high in the trees. Smells. The musty, bright smell of fresh moss, clean compost, fir and cedar. As I open my eyes I realize that I am home. Oh not the kind of home that is full of stuff, and has couches and televisions and windows. The kind of home that feels comfortable because there is no time to rush you about. The kind of home that is not warm because of central heating, but because you have to work just ...
Ratings & Rankings
Poetry / My Depth
Version 1
10 Reviews   4 Comments
Inside, deep, I am Bloody. Within the deepest part of me are Organs. Without them I will Die: Liver, to make me Live; Heart, to make me Love; Brain, to give me awareness of what I have, and What I am; Guts, for the wherewithal to seek Glory; Backbone, for the guts to Stay The Course; Bowels that I may feel compassion Therewith to give my heart Even to my Enemy; Spleen, that I may have weakness And learn to accept Pain…and P A I N One bladder, But two kidneys to fill it That I may learn Patien...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
12 Reviews   7 Comments
Who, Me? A Writer? Riiight! In the beginning, there were books. There were books of all kinds, but mostly those of the scifi/fantasy genre. These books were my friends. They kept me company and nurtured me, they helped me learn and grow. They protected me. I needed a lot of protection in the beginning; protection from mean children and the hurtful words a mother can say. Protection from my sisters, protection from myself. I was an only son, and I lived with four sisters and my mother. My fath...
Ratings & Rankings
Reviews
Journal, Diary, & Blogging / My Dear Friend
Ok, your premise is clear; you have a co-dependent friend who needs to become more independent and free of the "duty" to others. You are trying to use expressive language to help this friend see their chosen path is wrong. You seem to know what you want to say, but you contradict yourself repeatedly. Take this line: "The path you see before you may seem like the right one, clear of obstacles, bright and sunny" and this one later on: "toss away the clutter that you see before you." Which is it...
Nicely done! I get a specific meaning, but mine comes from a failed relationship that you could know nothing about. Maybe you are writing about your failed relationship, and mine just fits? Or maybe I don't get it at all. I do know a little about poetry, and while I can't pretend to write like this, I do get the privilege of reading poetry like this once in a while, so let me try, in my humble way, to give you a critique. Your meter is a tetrameter, with the last foot USUALY losing the last s...
Non-fiction / Six Word Memoir
Locked
Poetry / Pyrrhus
This is deep, as poetry should be. I am not as comfortable with the cadence and flow as I like to be in a good poem, but isn't difference the essence of the best poetry? And shouldn't the poem match its subject? What more uncomfortable subject than the humanity that makes us willing to kill and be killed for ideas, and the right to be right? And why should such a poem be comfortable to read, or speak, or articulate? No, my criticism is just that if this is to be an important poem, and it shou...
100.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
Sweet visuals in this, nicely done! I don't have much to say that would improve it, except that there should maybe be some punctuation between "The darkness" and "rills." and I might capitalize Darkness throughout, but I just like to personify some non person subject in a lot of my poetry. It seems more poetic, or something, like you did with Day and Night.
100.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)