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AGE:
32
LAST LOGIN: November 27
LAST LOGIN: November 27
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Version 1
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Sweet, I have gone away, so now there are thousands of miles haunting us impossibly; and even if, god forbid, you have forgotten me, my name, the man who then adored you and who now, even now cannot get you out of his blood, it is the all, it is fresh life for me, that you know my feelings; how at your side, I became remarkable, heart-whole and invincible. into you, on those certain Fridays in May, I reached, into your eyes, into your insides, as you brought with you, on your skin, all the fr...
Version 1
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Your shifting hips, I unlace them Distinguish you in darkness Form of forms becoming yourself You move under you skin Dancing you depopulate the room You collapse the firmament bring as you make as you are neglected night into my hands into me where, waiting behind the pause we measure motives decipher the-night-in-the-now Invent new things (neither image or likeness) Decide then fasten together your (more beautiful now) self I am behind you/I do not see Your being eyes making sparks but I kn...
Version 1
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You Are Like As I drank coffee Sadly thinking I had failed To find the words to garland you I realized your eyes Are all the metaphors ever And that is enough It is said that the Hebrews Had no superlatives And darling neither do I So you are The Moon of moons The Star of stars The Form of forms
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Such essential use of language, without any superfluous words or trite means of expression. I think you're on to something here, something worthwhile, something--with a bit more exploration--that could lead to something even more significant. Keep honing your skill.s I'm impressed.
Such essential use of language, without any superfluous words or trite means of expression. I think you're on to something here, something worthwhile, something--with a bit more exploration--that could lead to something even more significant. Keep honing your skill.s I'm impressed.
Love the language....it's so evocative and precise. You clearly are in touch with the essence of expression, kwowing which words to use and where. I'm impressed and hope that you continue writing more of this style.
In brings its message in its sumplicity. Some of the lines, however, I feel like I've heard before,
I like the unconventional rhyme scheme, however, I think the poem is too short. One more stanza could make it more visceral.
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