terrorbird1's profile
AGE:
20
LOC: United States
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: August 10
LOC: United States
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: August 10
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Version 3
3 Reviews
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My tongue laps around the warm flesh, Releasing numbed fury in bold thresh. I move around with exploding energy, Moans escaping the train of misery. I pull up and peer into her eyes, As she bends down with regretful sighs, Uncontrollable actions draining life, Hoping no lead to unwanted strife. Time grows still and brushes by faces, But fails to lower our thickened paces. Without thought I feel the warm tickle, She continues sucking and it begins to trickle. Cum and jizz blanket our skin, Not...
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This storyline owns and I believe that everyone would want to read chapter one...I know I do. The imagery is good, but keep in mind whether you want us to see everything or if is for just a memory of story. There are ample things I would like to know...great mood/awsum tone >what monster? >physical appearance of people/monster/few items in room? >seeing is believing? sounds mesmerizing >laboratory?...so exactly where are we?? >is it dark or light? moon light? any specific thing...
I really love the suspense from the beginning to the last line. It is overall written with amazing effort and I don't spot but one thing that bothers me. This line "Creeping like bulrushes," sounds a bit weird, but anyway good luck.
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