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the_antagonist's profile
AGE:
18
LOC: Las Vegas, NV
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: October 22
LOC: Las Vegas, NV
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: October 22
Like most young writers, I first discovered creative writing through suicide notes. I then moved on to comedy before being inspired to try my hand at free-verse one year later by a poet with a watch tattooed on his wrist. My next venture was into the realm of songwriting, which I immediately abandoned upon discovering my complete inability to compose meter or rhyme.
Now I mostly stick to behavior reports on children with autism, misplaced modifiers, and (mostly) fake PostSecrets which I never mail, all while dreaming about the novels allegedly inside me.
aim: Amateur Cody
Contact me if you have anything to give away.
Items
Humor/Satire
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Samples of Plotless Dialog(ue) (a series) Part 2: An Exploration in Separate Spellings and Prono...
Version 1
21 Reviews
14 Comments
"How was your flight?" Jared asked as Conal approached from baggage claim. "Terrible," Conal readjusted the shoulder strap of his carry-on. "There was a baby in the aeroplane who managed to cry over the entire Atlantic." "Aeroplane? You mean airplane, right?" Jared began walking with Conal, toward the shuttle. "No," said Conal. "I mean aeroplane." Jared stopped. "Isn't that like, Old English?" "Well considering there was no such thing as an aeroplane--" "Airplane." "It's completely proper to...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
22 Reviews
15 Comments
If you died tonight, I'd dig a hole in my backyard to put you in.; I'd wrap your naked body in that sheet stained with your blood from the time you split open your arms when we took too many drugs: but I wouldn't mark the grave, that way nobody would know you were lying there-- rotting-- flowers or a tree or some sort of something using your corpse as a fertilizer; and it'd be just like the way it was when we were together. If you died tonight, I'd draw your portrait on the sidewalk with the ...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
22 Reviews
9 Comments
For two weeks straight We did absolutely nothing But read each other’s writing, Or stare into each other’s face. Or into the empty space Between atoms--blinking in and out of existence. And you’d ask me what I was thinking, And I wouldn’t be afraid to answer. For two weeks straight We did absolutely nothing But hold each other’s body, Or kiss each other’s face. Or feel the empty space Between atoms--the tiniest distance you can never cross. And you’d ask me what I was thinking, And I wouldn’t...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
6 Reviews
7 Comments
When I close my left eye, your face shifts to the right. Who are you really kissing? Whose lips are softer?
Ratings & Rankings
Version 2
13 Reviews
16 Comments
“So guys,” I started, “if you kicked a baby on Earth--” “How are you kicking the baby?” Steven demanded. “Drop kicking it.” “Why?” everyone wanted to know. “Science,” I replied. “So if you drop kicked a baby on earth, and then drop kicked it on the moon, how much further would it go on the moon?” “Well it would keep going,” Adam said. “No it wouldn’t,” I retorted, “The moon still has gravity, it’s just five-sixths weaker than Earth’s.” “Well if you kicked it high enough. . .” “I don’t think ...
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Reviews
It's a consensus within the scientific community that homosexuality is genetic and not a choice of "free will." Of course, my sister remembers all of the "lesbians" that went to her high school which all turned out to be straight. These people, however, were never truly homosexual to begin with. The problem with the belief (I use this word liberally) that homosexuality is genetic is that it makes absolutely no sense when applied to evolution (an argument seldom heard, as those who argue homos...
AHAHAHA!! What makes this so funny is the fact that just by being American I know people who view Australia exactly as is portrayed here. Absurd situations portrayed in a completely natural and serious fashion equals comic gold, and you've done that here. I'd take out the comment about saying "two feet" and leave it. Sure, most people will overlook it, and those who notice will probably complain about Australia running on metric, but that is where the humor lies. It reminds me of a shirt I us...
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