The notion of a ghost of love is a good idea worth developing further. I find the title to be particularly appealing; the metaphor has much potential. I wonder if you might consider running with the metaphor, extending it more. Some free association might bring you to some really powerful words and images affiliated with ghosts that could be woven into the poem. I think the poem could stand just a little bit of complexitying. Although the simplicity of the poem works in some areas, in some pl...

A strong poem overall. The first stanza is among the strongest--the last is very strong as well, ending on a note of saddened resignation. You might want to consider using a stronger word than "connect", as it is a bit overused. I think the second to last stanza is the weakest and could probably stand to be removed. It's basically a few sentences of prose made into poetry by line breaks, and it doesn't possess the vigorous imagery that the other stanzas do. The molecules and the birthday mone...

You have some relatively powerful imagery here. The title doesn't do justice to the poem, and the last line is weak. Stanzas might help you, maybe sharpening up some of your lines so that they have a sharper more pungent punch rather than the soft, flowery nostalgia that you have going on here.

Well written, striking, and interesting. I think it could use a little bit of lengthening and elaboration. I see it as a first attempt to sort through an issue that could be explored much further, perhaps as your life progresses and this feeling that you have evolves. Perhaps including more thoughts on various customs relating to death would be a powerful way to explore this further... perhaps the piece could be a little more philosophical. The quotation is relevant, adds much to the piece an...

1)I suggest you look into the philosophical meanings of metaphysics to help you clarify if that is really an appropriate title for a drug poem. A philosophical or unabridged dictionary might help. 2)I think your rhymes are a little bit too contrived--if you let go of your extremely strong marriage to rhyme you might find that you are freed to use much more innovative and interesting words. 3) I read this as a poem that might be appealing to certain members of the young American drug/alcohol c...

I like the way you captured the sense of the ordinary and prosaic routine of living in which so many people are engaged every day. His astonishment when he looks into the mirror is something it seems most people can relate to. I love the line, "Got to look cared for to rejoin the race." You really are getting at some interesting themes. I think however that sometimes the rhymes are very simple and tend to take away from some of what you are trying to convey. Some lines that I think need rewor...

This is really kind of forceful. You have added a lot of very strong images and stories, and I like them. The stories of the individuals are my favorite. Several of the lines are excellent; others are a bit weaker and some are a bit too short. My main suggestion is to break up the poem into multiple poems. They can be multiple poems that belong together, or a series. I really would start out with the stories. I love the way you tell these individual stories, but I think it would be better if ...

Overall I think this is a very strong piece, but it needs some minor editing and polishing. Your central metaphor is a strong one, something to which many writers could relate. It is made clear primarily by the title, although there are gestures towards it in the rest of the poem. The rapist-armed robber side of the metaphor is very developed in the poem, but the muse side could stand to be developed a little bit more so that the structure of the comparison becomes more visible. The strongest...

Beautiful, original, dynamic and fascinating. Haiku doesn't normally hold too much interest for me, but I think that your word choices work to attract interest for the reader. My favorite part is the "lost seeds;" it leaves an air of potential metaphor and mystery. I think this piece would be nice as part of a larger series of haikus. I like your description of what the poem is about, but I don't think it's necessary-- the poem holds its own. Good job.

The poem has a strong beginning, but it weakens and loses vigor towards the end. I think the strongest stanza is the first, I like the idea of the child at play, and it would be in your best interest to develop this image more. The last stanza is your weakness, because it's clear that you do in fact need others (as a human, and in your poem's obvious need for others). The image of the person waiting at the window for years is pretty overdramatic and would be improved if the person had been wa...