while it definitely belongs in the crime, thriller, & mystery overall--it also fits the flash fictions description as well. i only say that because i think you'd have a knack for that style as well. this sounds along the darkly humorous lines of frank miller's "sin city." nice work. i have no suggestions.

this was compelling and in the end quite powerful as the baby reveals the blue eyes of the deceased father. the flow of the screenplay is excellent and easy to read. i had a little trouble picturing the fantasty visuals presented, but that will be a set-concern rather than a conceptual problem with the screenplay. nice work.

i thought this was fucking HILARIOUS. i was seriously laughing throughout. it's like a james bond meets shawn of the dead type story. hysterical dialouge. i like how you poke fun at the stereotypes of the main characters as well. i want to see this on the screen. i don't know proper formatting, so i have no suggestions. you accidentally introduced Red twice (same description). only problem. loved it.

this is interesting. like a fucked-up aesop's fable. suggestions: i do like how you've formatted this tale...facillitates the quickness typical of flash fiction reads. nice kicker. i'm not sure the title is appropriate, though. while it should be noted that this is a one-sided conversation...it is a dream story, right? and that a narrator is necessary? maybe entitle it the actual story it describes, or give it your own personal twist. that's all i got. nice work.

you give me no exit. while i was entertained by some of your interpersonal observations, i personally cannot connect to this. frankly, i see these as a series of personal problems. it's an introverted, existential argument and i'm an extroverted people-embracing individual. as for the work itself, you're grammar is fine and you do have an interesting (understatement) way with describing certain people and situations (however warped). not sure how this would fare on it's own, though. granted, ...

here's my take. your "diamond in the rough" was always there, yet goes unnoticed to blind individuals who blithely walk past. the jeweler, or those special, are the only ones who can truly realize the beauty of what was hidden below. regardless, none can deny one's true inner beauty whether the masses discover it or not. the diamonds shine on in spite of those unaware of their existence. i thoroughly enjoyed this. you do have a talent. aside from a couple grammatical mistakes (wouldn't put a ...

Hysterical. This story is very perceptive in regards to the middle-school life of uncertainty and the social ladder we all must climb to popularity. You've also got a witty style of writing that I very much enjoyed. I loved the whole "barbie-and-ken-going-on-a-date" running commentary from claire and the narrator, but especially the rape itself where the narrator was horrifed by claire's idea of a date while barbie remained "surprisingly calm". Only problems are minor grammatical mistakes. Pa...

what i like about this piece is how completely honest it is: it's a naked kind of honesty that has no bathrobes or curtains attached. he's just searching for someone or something to satisfy the painstaking loneliness that eclipses the desperately sought life of social potential/evaluation. from thousands of miles away, the sexy, arousing profile pics tempt an act that can only happen here. i wonder just how sexually frank they are on the street...or if their online sexuality is just a front, ...

back again. frankly it's a bit overwrought near the ending, but i hope you're inspired, and turning down different avenues. the physical renaissance sounds good on the page. the one line that really fascinated me was, "showing the truth...to see lies...never lead lives." why written on old papers? why resist the only existence you have? meaning doesn't just present itself, it must be sought out and recognized because only then can you truly appreciate it. again, don't know the intent of the l...