READ QUICK AND EASY BUT I WOULD HAVE LIKED EVEN MORE ATTITUDE FROM THE CHARACTER A BILLY IDOLISH LIP CURLING ATTITUDE. WHAT DID THE ROCKSTAR FIND SO SPECIAL ABOUT HER? NEED TO DEVELOP THE CHARACTER MORE.

VERY GOOD. THERE ARE SOME GAPS THAT LEAVE YOU WONDERING LIKE WHO DO THE CHILDREN BELONG TO HER BROTHERS WIFE OR HER HUSBAND? PERHAPS I MISSED THAT. I LIKED THE END BUT I THINK IF YOU WOULD HAVE SAID SHE WAS A STRONG SWIMMERIN THE NEXT TO LAST FRAME IT WOULD MAKE THE ENDING A LITTLE EASIER YO ENVISION.

I ILKE THAT YOU DIDN;T HAMMER US WITH WORDS WE'D NEED A DICTIONARY FOR. I HAVE SEEN THE MOVIE AND REALLY DIDN'T THR ITEMS YOU LISTED UNTIL THE SECOND VIEWING. GREAT WRITE UP I ENJOYED IT.

I really did'nt get it. whoosh right over my head.

parts of this I really liked -new beginnings reached with each touch of our lips history made with each bounce of our hips- the imagery is easy to see and it reads easy, while others are more vague I guess would be the right word deep as I mushy inside all gushy splatter myself all over for you I really didn't get this part However I loved one line peaceful as a hidden cove -

Poems written from emotion especially when the feeling is current tend to either explode with joy or fall flatly. There are moments of both here. I felt that at times you forced the words Forever only curses, nothing can stand that test of time But for this brief period together, I’m so glad that you’re mine (Sounds like you are in a relationship that you have predetermined will fail and how does one truly open themselves up to the possibilities of love if they are either a pessimist or so gu...

Although your heart seems to be in the right place, this is very simplistic. Also, you have several misspelled words and I needs to be caitalized. You can't jump from four stanza to two without interupting the flow. Use your spell checker before submitting.