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AGE:
28
LOC: Suitland, MD
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: October 29
LOC: Suitland, MD
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: October 29
“Writing is good, thinking is better.
Cleverness is good, patience is better.”
Herman Hesse
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Even Smooth Things Have Small Imperfections A few months in this southern city whose only virtue was a top ranked law school had made Marianne tolerant of a steady diet of raw vegetables and soup from a can. If she were lucky, there’d be discounted frozen lobster bisque for sale at the supermarket but that did not happen often enough. On her last birthday, her boyfriend, Claude, had taken her to an expensive restaurant with hand-written menus and she had ordere...
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“It’s no surprise that you’d be getting married to your therapist.” “How do you figure?” “Well, like most normal people, you associate revealing intimate details about yourself with sexual intercourse. The twist with therapy is that you’re revealing them before having sex—there’s a reversal, see?” “Of course I see—what’s your point?” “My point is that you’re in a vulnerable position. You’ve always been comfortable in the past sharing these details because sexual intimacy was established firs...
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As a character building exercise, this is quite well done. Without knowing more about your true intentions for what will happen to this character, I can only infer that this will not be the style you will use to tell the larger tale. I found that I most identified with this character's belief that life is nothing more than a game where we manipulate all those around us to achieve our goals. And sometimes those goals can be simply malice. This is my favorite part so far: "You can look at me an...
Non-fiction
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My life as a TV talk show - Observations in life - Chapter 2- The one about violent and/or rebell...
I definitely enjoyed the anecdotes you chose to include in this chapter. Especially the one with the butcher knife. Perhaps you could include some descriptions of the madness on your face or the terror you caused in the child being chased. Also, I'm extrmemly curious about what your father said to you after this incident (and also the one where you beat your sister with a broom). There are some grammatical issues, however, that need to be addressed, but it would be futile to point them out be...
I did enjoy that last line. The juxtaposition of a coversation about love and what it is (to these characters) while they snort crank is quite compelling. Stangely, there are traces of optimism running throughout this piece; you seem determined for the main character to find some reason to keep living in a world where there seems to be none. But this lathargic desperation, how this couple just seems content to wallow in their miserable existences, does not lead me to believe these characters ...
"Walked with a slight limp in his easy gate the rest of his life." I think you mean "gait." Ok, with that out of the way, let me tell you what I think of your story. The dialogue is fantastic. I can see these two characters sitting at the breakfast table well, each personality distinct. The grandma character's similes are well placed; the one about uncle charlie being as gentle as the day is long is quite effective. I'm not sure what you mean by this story being too cliche. On my second readi...
I've read through this scene several times so as to provide you with the best advice I've got to offer. Without knowing anything else about these characters besides what you wrote in the notes, I can honestly say that I'm extremely interested to learn more about Sam and Clifton. You capture that quality inherent in all youth through Clifton—the overwhelming desire to tell Sam how he feels without fully appreciating the consequences of his actions. Things always seem simpler in our minds befo...
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