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tigerlight's profile
AGE:
24
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: October 16
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: October 16
A wannabe, but a longstanding one, I’ve been writing since elementary school. My poetic voice is a metaphorical one, but I hope to gain more of a solid grounding in reality by being apart of this community. I’m a bit strange in that I sometimes believe my life runs currents of theme, as right now it seems to be tigers and ghosts. All elements of those two sets of entities seem to make particled coincidence with my life as a whole, so I’ve decided to embrace these parallels.
I’m excited about the prospect of being in a site where other writers might possibly review some of my work, and equally so to appreciate good, unrecognized writers.
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I am getting paid soon, right?
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My essence as lines drawn from the ink of your shape-shifting blood, on the inside, I am always a new creation, in the shadow of your change, in the flickers of your heart, there I am the new sketch, the anima, the value. The icy vapour hissing in a cloud from my pores, milk chocolate ocean spread across my muscles recoils. State of emergency is declared, there's magic afoot, I can hear its colors shifting through the sea-tingled air. My eyes, re-survive as kaleidescopes in this school, as th...
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wild milk iFlows from his internal lightning it shapes, it changes into the bone-crushing power of alone. It kills mothers and smashes them into the plaid of their dresses. I remember one mother, the lucrative fire made dollars out of her air-shredding screams and towers of lemonaded blood. Jesus snatched all the little bits and pieces of her up and made dolls for all the cancer-stick children. I think it's sad, neon bigotry who forgot me in the stark of my wide, wide desert. Pictures and fus...
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heart green height of storms, bring me new pain that I may re-interpret it as the blood from the husk of my imagined self. that I might be shucked heart and cook away the rawness that kept me in the field, I am no more metaphor than the stalk next to me, no stronger than the foundation molesting my roots, nor more confident than the upside-down ocean I stretch toward. I am too tall to bend down and pick love up, heart, I'm very old My will bends farther than I can. I live post-bloom, waiting ...
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you wire the dark's wounds shut with electricity, they scream and twist and tear against your loving, you keep wishing because wishes deify the death that heals life, that incurable. but none of this is somber none of it should make you scream, you are the surgeon, keep yourself and the skin together keep the dark intact and the wounds healing, shut light up into the imperfection of pain.
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Usually I can't stand rhyme, because most are terrible at it (myself included). But this is definitely a step in the right direction of it. I don't remember if it's the correct grammatical term, but you seem to be relying a lot of the "Object Subject Verb" format (like Yoda); I would challenge you to create it in the normal structure of Subject Verb Object (I went to the store). Liked the melancholy nature of this and the line "A life half lived; existence bare/When grace not love, nor warmth...
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Interesting rhythm...a little too staccato for my tastes (as evidenced by the line breaks) but I understand that this is supposed to be more spoken word. I guess the thing I understand least is the consistency between the stanzas; they seem like little vignettes or snippets of thought, perhaps that's your intention, but they aren't cohesive. I love the last line "The science/knows that is/my fingerprint/as I bleed my/fears on/every line". Strong metaphors, if you could draw this out through t...
Hey there. Think you're working with some great elements. Love the concept of the Community, and that the character falls for a prostitute. I think you have some cleaning up to do though, especially as far as hierarchy. The way you drop hints about the nature of Tanner is very confusing, so I wonder if there's a way you can drop a few more hints about his past earlier in the work. Also, personally, I'm not a huge fan of the typical, slightly misogynistic "detective/mercenary/assassin" type du...
This was a pretty nice draft of a story; you have advanced past the level of many who seem to ignore metaphor all together, but I think it needs a little trimming, believe it or not. Phrases like "her eyes narrowed in pain and sorrow" could do without the "sorrow" because it's implied. Beside the nitpicky grammatical things, I like the concept of a little girl escaping a domestically violent household. I also really like the description of the cat, and I would almost like to see more of the l...
Wow. I never get a chance to read short stories but this was great. I think that it could serve with a good couple of metaphorical reference, the story is just esoteric enough to warrant it. The premise is fantastic however, and even though it seems like it might be overdone, it seems to be done in a thoughtful manner. You really seem to have a fresh take on a classic storyline. I love the concept that Jamie is a growing ghost because of the fabrication of her father. I also really like how y...
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