tinwilhop's profile

tinwilhop avatar
AGE: 19
LOC: Cincinnati, OH
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: August 06

This user has not yet uploaded an urbis user description/profile.

Item Stats
Reviewer Stats
Items
Poetry / spark.
Version 1
1 Review   0 Comments
sure there is a spark a spark as big as you and me it's deep down in the wood under the bark be careful though you might blow it out when you lift up the bark. so next time you see the spark in the bark pause, and think about how long you waited for the spark in the bark to appear
Ratings & Rankings
Poetry / dreampoem
Version 1
1 Review   0 Comments
when I looked up from the typed sheet, the painter must have left his heart must have been stolen the owner was half painted the rest was lines a drunken paint-by-number the girl was too. the fulcrum at her head they were beautiful gymnasts but only for a second, when a bold painted red streak appeared over the front of his pants, he turned to me with fury the gun in his pocket look heated, redder than the streak across his groin. the girl ran forward through the field of grain, the most colo...
Ratings & Rankings
Poetry / lindsay
Version 1
2 Reviews   0 Comments
everything is darker but more beautiful. i can stare at the sun for as long as I want. I am unstoppable. her name sends frost through my bloodstream like panic calls from a sinking ship on radio wire. I can't stop shaking. i'm not nervous, i've got my head out the window and i'm screaming.
Ratings & Rankings
Poetry / blankpage
Version 1
1 Review   0 Comments
i see something on the blank page but nothing is there, nobody is there. yelling in a foreign tongue, black as tar, false as ever. Sing to me, sweet one. Dance for me sweet one. I'll dance with you, and your smile as plastic, as it might be in your mind. I don't see any doll factories around here, not for miles. I don't see a passport in your purse. Sad comedian; i'll make you laugh forever, as long as I get to grin every once and a while.
Ratings & Rankings
Reviews
Poetry / Intersect
I'll start by saying that I enjoy your spacing with "jerk ing" and "snap ing", the words read in my head really makes the image come to life, and is also good for reading aloud to others. Furthermore, what I grasp is that we are rigid, cold, statues, and that by going to others, or perhaps even ourselves is when we learn to become more gentle, more human.
This poem definitely speaks to me. It makes me feel the warmth of a brisk becoming winter's walk. Every element is delicately presented with an earned equality, nothing is overexposed or excessively written about. What I look for in a good poem is accurate representation, or at least deserved representation of subject matter, which brings it to life, and I must say that this poem does just that. My favorite stanza: "An owl in the distance hails the deepening dusk. The wind blows off the last ...
Poetry / Unwrapping
I really enjoy the second stanza, the analogy of somebody unraveling like candy really flows well through my head. Maybe you could even develop that analogy some more in the stanza above. The first stanza, i believe needs to be reworked a bit in both length and content. the last two lines i enjoy very much however. The two 'sweet sounds' don't really sound sweet to me, perhaps I am not hearing or saying them right aloud, perhaps they aren't meant to read aloud in that manner.
Favorites

tinwilhop has no favorites yet.

People