tritim07's profile

tritim07 avatar
AGE: 25
LOC: Killeen, TX
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: December 04

Hello!  I’m a 23 year old military wife currently stationed on Fort Hood, TX.  I love the fine arts, and obviously writing.  I am currently writing my first novel of which I have posted the first two chapters for review from other users who are able to give constructive criticism.  I am in desperate need for input, so anything is welcome.

Just so you know, if I write a review that you don’t like, don’t message me about it.  I don’t care that you feel like I’m attacking you as a person, because I’m not.  I would never do that.  I don’t care that you feel that I’m pulling your work apart and bastardizing it.  I’m not.  If you can’t take the heat, join a site that will make sure everybody sugar-coats everything and will tuck you in when …

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Reviews
Criticism / A world gone mad
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Journalism / FAITH
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So I just isolated my alone laying on my bed. ** this line confused me; it's worded funny and i've read over it many times to see if i'm reading it wrong but I can't figure it out But I guess that that never works ** I think 2 that's is unneccessary ** Stanza #3 is grossly elementary as far as thought and word usage goes I'm not going to lie to you: The first stanza had me interested and then my interest weaned as I read on.
You clearly have a WONDERFUL vocabulary. So now on to the details: I stayed with it in the first stanza because I guess I was expecting to read more about all of the evil in the world, but there on out I was lost. Most of your rating from me does come from your vocabulary/imagery.
Children's / Down, Down They Come
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Children's / Beatrice Bigglesbee

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