txvagabond's profile
AGE:
24
LOC: Houston, TX
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 16
LOC: Houston, TX
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 16
Trying to see the world and stab it with a pen.
Items
Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
Writing in verse disguised my ineptitude.
Version 2
1 Review
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Every good writer begins with a catchy introductory sentence. The best ones make some sort of general claim and proceed to back it up with statements that loosely connect it to the actual topic on which they intend to write, thus covering up the overused device that pervades modern writing. By the time a reader becomes aware of the devices, it’s too late; the device has already worked, and the reader is well into the first paragraph. A long, drawn out metaphor or simile often serves to furthe...
Version 1
13 Reviews
2 Comments
Brothers – that’s the theme Scott Redding finally decided upon for the yearbook. He felt that it adequately described the relationships forged over the last twelve years between the eighty-five young men who comprised his senior class. Over those twelve years, some came, and some went, but there was always a sense of family, of closeness that brought the class of 2003 together. Scott knew that his yearbook staff would approve the theme; they were his closest friends, and in a sense, his own b...
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Reviews
I really liked this poem. The slant rhymes and gentle meter keep it poetic without bashing you over the head. My only qualm is the second line, "A name on a paper without any face." By etymology, an anonymous man lacks a name, so the fact that he has a name on a paper (even though you go on to offer another paradox) stuck out to me. Maybe it's just its placement immediately after the word "anonymous." Small detail though. The imagery and idea are good. Quality piece here.
"Then times spent with grandmother" -> Than "of Czechoslovakian decent" -> descent "Lunchtime were special" -> Lunchtimes "with his hudge appetite" -> huge "Till it was too dark" -> 'Til Overall, I think this is a good poem with some good ideas behind it. You have some strange sentence construction that doesn't contribute to rhyme or meter, so I'm a bit confused why you chose to write that way. At times, it sounds like you're going for a sort of antiquated feel, but other times...
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