I like the analogies and the way they make your mind go off with the images of the mongoose and python. Although I did feel like It could have more too, like it wasn't complete or something.

I don't think you breach the copyright law with rewriting lyrics. BUt I am not too sure. As for the writing itself, it was really good. I could get a feel for where yuo were comming from and with the Johnny Cash tune it's brilliant.

Wow! This was great. I loved it. That's just.. wow. I loved it. lol. But yeah, you put images into your words and then pulled them back out with more entising phrases and words.

It's pretty good. It reminds me of something I wrote not too long ago.

I loved this. It was brilliant and very decriptive. You could really take off on this with your imagination and invision it. It takes a good writer to do that and you have so much talent. I really really like this. the French would say "J'adore ce travail, c'est tres tres magnifique". lol. Great wok.

I like this. It had alot of raw open emotion and the message was great. I just hope this isn't a true story, if it is I'm truly sorry.

It was good, although it is a bit confusing. It jumped and wasn't focused. I'd go back and fix the spelling mistakes and the capitalzation. OTher then that it was pretty good

Overall this was a good poem. It could use more detail, but it has a good meaning,hits close to home.

This is good, but you're right it does need to be touched up. The raw passion and directness is a great approch. It does jump around but it meshes well. Good work. . You should let me know when you update it.