unmonad's profile

Sunday morning: A time for the devout, the repentant, the self-righteous, and the unwillingly-dragged-along to take their places within the majestic landscape of hymnals, carefully-pressed gingham dresses, and cunningly disguised gossip. It was a magical time of each week, where no matter where you worked, who you had cursed at in traffic, or what had compelled you to boot the neighbor’s dog back over the privacy fence while said neighbors were vacationing in the Outer Banks, you could appear...

When Christian awoke, he immediately became aware of three distinct developments. First, his face, hair, tie, and previously white oxford shirt were sticky with bourbon, which surrounded him with a queasy, stale odor. Second, he was lying face up on something at least equally as hard as pavement, with a number of sore muscles advising him that he had been there for some time. Third, a fat grey rat peered over the window ledge above his face, twitching its face and blinking slowly. Christian c...

It’s just not such a great gig to be a god anymore. I’m getting pretty weary of it, myself. I can’t imagine how the old gods feel. In the ancient days, people created gods for pretty good reasons. They lacked the knowledge to understand how natural forces work, so they drew up gods for all sorts of things that were otherwise incomprehensible. They depended on their gods to protect them from floods, earthquakes, plagues, dangerous animals, the heartbreak of psoriasis, stubbed toes, chronic hal...