upfromsumdirt's profile

although there are some good lines - 'street nigga from the square/square nigga from the street' - it really doesnt start to resonate until you get to the "they say im the after effects of mkl", it gets much stronger after that and i enjoyed the el salvador/lagos references. perhaps those are topics to be expanded upon as you did mentioning the kola nuts for little to no pay. the best writing often goes beneath the surface of the subjects to make the reader aware to issues they may never know...

ive participated on online poetry communities for several years and much of this is reminiscent of those sites: stage poetry for the online masses. it works for that audience although much of this material has been heavily referenced and with the same word play as "pen/soul" - a good work out for new writers but are common online. your challenge will be to find your own voice in how you relate these types of poems to your audience, especially since you're looking for publication: what works o...

glowing praise aint much of a critique, so i'm at a loss. this is one of the most "professional" endeavors i've read during my short time on urbis. rural themes often seem the most honest and tender to me and this has both. line edits are always 'eye of the beholder' territory to me, especially in free verse - i like the way your words present themselves and any advice i'd have to offer about it would be negligible. well done.

your reviewer tips say 'just enjoy' so im assuming that means you're not looking for structural critique. but if thats the case, then why post it on urbis, right? as it stands, this is all sentiment and emotion. there are very few poetic tools used here and at best it might loosely fit the definition for prose. as an expression of affection/love-lost, i understand... human relationships offer powerful themes for us to write about, but if you want to separate it from being a standard journal e...